Texting Storybrooke
by LittleDraco
Summary: The people of StoryBrooke have some of the strangest conversations viva texting. HUMOR FIC Set no were rated T for language in later chapters. please review
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: you all know by now that I don't own once.

StoryBrooke and there texting. Just a bit of humor what do you think? Will post every day this week.

Please review.

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Emma, Hook and Snow

Killian: Good morning Love

Emma: good morning. You learned to text?

Killian: text?

Emma: it's what you're doing. Sending me messages through the phone.

Killian: oh, ok love

Snow: Emma, Hook why am i seeing these messages?

Emma: Killian why did you group text us?

Killian: i didn't know i did apologies Snow not really good with this device.

Emma: its called a phone.

Snow: That's quite alright ill leave you to alone.

Emma: So what do you want to do today?

Killian: why don't you meet me on my ship and ill tell you then Love.

Emma: Should i be worried?

Killian: you will love this love.

Emma: does it involve rum and getting very close together?

Snow: EMMA!

Emma: ha, busted, i know you couldn't resist on reading.

Killian: no Snow nothing like that will happen.

Emma: Ill make sure she deletes it before i leave.

Killian: thank you.

Emma, Regina and Henry.

Henry: Mom did i leave my Math book at your place.

Emma: which mom you talking to? cuz i haven't seen it.

Regina: it's in the kitchen where you left it.

Henry: can someone bring it please before lunch. And talking to both of you.

Regina: i can't, I've got too much work to do.

Emma: if Regina doesn't mind, i have time i can get it.

Regina: Fine Miss Swan you can get it. And Henry are you texting in class?

Henry: Yes, it's just grandma.

Emma and Snow.

Emma: Do you know that Henry is texting me and Regina in class, just because its 'just grandma'

Snow: i do now.

Snow and Henry.

Snow: Henry you know the rules, not to text in class even if its 'just Grandma"

Henry: sorry just asking if one of my moms could bring my math book.

Snow: fine ill let you off this once now put the phone away and read.

Emma, Regina and Henry.

Henry: ok which one of you told grandma?

Regina: not me.

Henry: Mom?

Regina: Emma?

Henry: Yes im talking to Emma now. Mom did you tell grandma?

Emma: ...

Henry: ill get you back for that.

Emma: you want your book or not.

Henry: fine. thx mom.

Emma: im out the front. now

Henry: ok ill tell G

Emma: Regina whats with the picture's of Henry with the sword?

Henry: dont you dare.

Regina. Henry was four, and had a thing for swords.

Emma: i so want a copy of them, do you have others.

Regina: plenty.

Henry: i will burn the all

Regina: Henry i have copies of every picture in the house and you don't want me to bring out the baby photos.

Emma so want to see them.

Henry: thats it im running away.

Regina and Robin

Robin: Regina can i ask you something?

Regina: of course you can you don't have to ask that.

Robin: could you teach me to drive one of those car things.

Regina: and why do you want to drive one of them?

Robin: they look interesting and im sure there not that hard.

Regina: David let Henry drive and he ran over a mailbox which i still need to get replaced.

Robin: oh, so if there not safe why are people riding them?

Regina: Driving

Robin: Driving?

Regina: you don't ride cars you drive them.

Robin: ok then. Could you show me then.

Regina: ill pick you up and i know a place in the woods, just don't tell the sheriffs

Robin: why?

Regina: long story ill tell you when i get there.

Robin: ok see you soon.

Henry and Hook

Henry: Hook can i stay with you tonight on the ship?

Killian: Why lad? What's wrong with your mothers?

Henry: Regina is showing Emma my baby pictures.

Killian And whats wrong with that.

Henry; there's a lot.

Killian: only if your mothers say you can.

Henry: i never asked them because mom will tell grandma about them.

Killian: ok lad but if your mothers ask ill tell them where you are.

Henry: fine

Emma, Killian and Henry.

Emma: have you seen Henry i can't find him.

Killian: yes love he's here with me.

Emma: why is he with you?

Killian the lad was embarrassed because you and Regina were looking at baby pictures of him.

Emma: ok fine what is he doing?

Henry : im fine mom just finishing my homework

Emma: Why did you run off like that.

Henry: you and mom were looking at my baby photos.

Emma: and?

Henry: there embarrassing.

Killian: are you coming over to pick him up?

Emma: na, Henry can stay but ill tell Regina where he is.

Henry: yay thanks mom.

Killian: see you in the morning love.

Regina and Hook.

Regina: Pirate Henry better be fine.

Killian: Regina?

Regina: yes pirate

Killian: What do you want?

Regina: excuse me?

Killian: talking about the lad.

Regina: nice save. Where's Henry?

Killian: Swan picked him up 5 minutes ago for school.

Regina: good.

Killian: lad left his scarf behind just to let you know.

Regina: just give it to Emma.

Killian: ok

 **XXXXXXx**

 **What do you think please review ill post the next chapter tomorrow**


	2. Chapter 2

**thanks for the love guys. just let you know no one is really dead in this story they will all be back some time or another**

Regina and Cora

Cora: Regina sweetheart. Can we talk?

Regina: Who is this?

Cora: Your mother

Regina: no you're not my mother, she's dead.

Cora: well then should i tell Snow how you really got that scar on your lip

Regina: as if you know how that happened.

Cora: you fell of your first horse and he hit you in the lip. You told her you were learning to sword fight and got cut.

Regina: WTF! MOTHER. How are you alive

Cora: wft?

Regina: Don't ask...

Cora: fine i won't

Regina: what do you want?

Cora: i want to know if i can start over with another chance.

Regina: Why should I let you.

Cora: because I don't know what I can do without my magic.

Regina: what do you mean without your magic?

Cora: i lost my magic permanently it was my price to come back.

Regina: fine where you are ill pick you up? Does anyone else know you're in town?

Cora: No one knows and im at the docks

Regina: on my way.

Regina, Snow and Emma.

Regina: We have a problem.

Snow: what is it?

Emma: what my mom said.

Regina: my mother is alive again and in town and should let you know. But she said she's powerless.

Snow: ...

Emma: great news ill start packing and I'm taking my family. Care to run away with us Regina?

Regina: She has no magic but i don't believe it

Snow: if she comes near me again Regina it won't be my fault if she'd dead again.

Regina: says the women who didn't get out of bed and asked me to kill you the first time around

Emma: WHAT! MOM YOU ASKED REGINA TO KILL YOU.

Regina: Didn't you know?

Snow: i was upset Emma

Emma: well talk about that later, just tell me that dad knows about that.

Snow: he does.

Regina: So what are we going to do about my mother?

Emma: stay close and if she starts getting into trouble in the smallest way call us. Even if it's something small.

Regina: ok then.

Regina and Cora.

Cora: i need to tell you something.

Regina: What couldn't it wait till i got back?

Cora: this new start has told me i should tell you the truth about something.

Regina: Well what is it?

Cora: please don't be mad

Regina: Mother just tell me.

Cora: you have another sister i never told you about.

Regina: i know.

Cora: you do? How?

Regina: you know the wicked witch from OZ?

Cora: that ugly Green toad.

Regina: ha can't believe you just said that

Cora: why?

Regina: well that "toad" is my sister.

Cora: that green toad is the baby i abandoned.

Regina: yep.

Cora: and how do you know all of this.

Regina: lets just say we met already and she spilled it to everyone.

Cora: what did she do?

Regina: she stole Snow's baby.

Cora: Emma?

Regina: no Snow and David had another baby

Cora: oh, well good for them.

Regina: well Zelina was a pain in the ass

Cora: Zelina?

Regina: the toad

Cora: oh my, they named her Zelina.

Regina: yep

Emma and Cora

Cora: Emma its Cora, i would like to apologize about everything once before.

Emma: WTF! Stay away from me and my family.

Cora: what is this wtf? i keep hearing about?

Emma: it means "what the fuck."

Cora: oh my, ok then i need to give my daughter a good talking to

Emma: you asked?

Cora: i did and im not the one to be mad at you, thats your mother's job.

Emma: great….

Zelina and Cora

Zelina: Mother?

Cora: Regina?

Zelina: no its Zelina.

Cora: hello, what is it?

Zelina: can we meet somewhere. i would like to meet you.

Cora: ok, Regina and I are at that dinner want to meet us there.

Zelina: um Regina and i don't get along.

Cora: im sure the two of you can put up with it for a few hours.

Zelina: fine omw.

Cora: omw?

Zelina: omg mother. on my way

Cora: omg?

Zelina: oh, my, god. Mother get used to it.

XXXX

 **thanks for reading what do you think. ill post Chapter three tomorrow**


	3. Chapter 3

Emma and Snow

Snow: Emma where are you?

Emma: with Killian.

Snow: then why Is Killian here looking for you.

Emma: I told him I would meet him at his ship

Snow: well he's here and your father Is scaring him with a overprotective dad speech.

Emma: Im on my way.

Snow: Hurry.

David and Emma.

David: Emma how's Killian. I think I scared him.

Emma: he fine and he's just scared of you.

David: he should be, If he hurts you I will kill him.

Emma: DAD!

David: Emma relax but If he hurts even your heart im not afraid to chase him over the town line.

Emma: you do that and you're joining him.

David: you wouldn't?

Emma: I would.

Emma and Killian

Emma: Cora's back In town

Killian: Bloody hell.

Emma: yea my thoughts as well.

Killian: want to meet up at the diner.

Emma: Yea, and my dad's coming to get a coffee as well

Killian: bloody hell love he's going to kill me you know.

Emma: na he's just going to throw you over the town line If you hurt me.

Killian: wouldn't dream of It love

Regina and Robin

Regina: Robin for your safety I suggest you stay away from my place.

Robin: why what's wrong.

Regina: My mother's alive and well she doesn't know about us yet and knowing her I need to talk to her about It first.

Robin: ok then but how long cus I was hoping we could do something together.

Regina: I was to. but just give It a few days and Ill warm her up for you. the last guy I loved was a stable boy and she killed him In front of me

Robin: good point, and sorry about the stable boy.

Regina: how you think Henry got his middle name.

Robin: Daniel?

Regina: yes Heny after my father and Daniel after my first love.

Robin: that's sweet.

Regina: thanks. my mother and Zelina are home so Ill talk later.

Regina and Rumple

Rumple: Regina what's this I've been hearing that your mother Is alive and back In town.

Regina: since when do you text people and when did you get a phone?

Rumple: I hardly use It. now Is It true

Regina: yes my mother is back and this time she has no magic.

Rumple: just keep her away from me.

Regina: will do

Rumple and Killian.

Killian: crocodile? Is It possible to permantly lose their magic?

Rumple: pirate. why are you texting me?

Killian: just answer the bloody question?

Rumple: Its extreme but It seems like Cora must have lost It someway.

Killian: k just wanted to know If Cora was going to be a threat.

Rumple: by the sounds of It no she wont be.

Killian: why are we still talking?

Rumple: then stop.

Killian: I will. Dark One


	4. Chapter 4

Emma and Snow

Snow: absf5b4uy49f3

Emma: ...mom?

Snow: sorry your brother keeps getting my phone.

Emma: lol ok.

*ten minutes later

Snow: fnurngur83u48348nf239muh7c

Emma: Neil give mommy back her phone.

Emma: mom you need to hide your phone...

Snow: yep

Regina and Snow

Snow: f834th

Regina: ...

Snow: Sorry Regina, Neil has a thing for my phone.

Regina: its fine Henry was the same.

Snow: omg really?

Regina: mostly he kept calling whale

Snow: weird?

Snow to everyone

Snow: if you get a random message from me, my son has a thing for my phone and just ignore it

Emma: oh brother...

Henry: ok

KIllian: ok then

Regina: you just told me this

David: good thing i have mine

Snow: nfurenf34xcd

Snow: gnrieg45

Emma: lol little bro

Regina: just keep that phone away from him

David: that's my boy

Killian: bloody hell lad

Regina and Robin

Regina: ok I've told my mother about you and she wants to meet you tonight

Robin: well good i was getting tired of waiting, let you know i have Roland

Regina: that's fine, omg my mother is not shutting up about you and she hasn't even met you yet

Robin: great... Roland keeps asking if we could have lasagna for dinner, i told him i would ask.

Regina: yea was going to make it anyway cus Henry is coming to

Robin: thank you

Regina: dinner will be at six.

Robin: see you soon.

Emma and Regina

Emma: so Robin's still alive from last night?

Regina: I'm worried about my mother.

Emma: omg what did she do.

Regina: she was being nice to Robin all night... just talking, she even laughed abit.

Emma: ok, theres something to worry about.

Regina: yea think

Regina and Zelina

Zelina: Hello sis

Regina: wtf you texting me.

Zelina: i was hoping we could get along for our mother's sake.

Regina: il only agree to that when Snow White trusts you.

Zelina: fine ill go over there right now and ask her.

Regina and Snow.

Regina: WARNING ZELINA IS COMING TO YOUR PLACE

Snow: thanks... crap she's here.

Regina: Hide Neil

*an hour later*

Snow: REGINA WTF!

Regina: i tried to warn you.

Snow: i don't trust her or your mother one bit. I'm more surprised i still trust you cuz of ur family.

Regina: You done with your little rant?

Snow: yes

Regina: Good i just didn't think she would go there.

Snow: well she did, and omg should have seen David and Emma when she walked in the door.

Regina: do i want to know.

Snow: Emma handcuffed her and David sat on her... so Emma could handcuff her.

Regina: omg i wish i was there.

Snow: (Sends Photo)

Regina: that's a keeper. Omg i have to show mother this.

Snow: dmi6d7

Regina: Serisly how does that kid of yours keep getting your phone.

XXXXXXXXXX

 **Thanks for reading please keep those reviews coming.**


	5. Chapter 5

Regina and Robin

Robin: help me

Regina: What's wrong?

Robin: Your mother is what's wrong

Regina: omg what is she doing to you

Robin: she hasn't stop talking about how I should be treating you.

Regina: you treat me well. What's wrong with that?

Robin: more like how I should marry you and become ruler of this town with you, and learn magic?

Regina: omg what's she doing now?

Robin: I don't really know, something about learning how to be a proper prince.

Regina: ok, omw

Robin: hurry.

Robin: and Regina...

Regina: Yes

Robin: your mother scares me.

Regina: i know.

Henry and Robin

Henry: Hey Robin can i ask you something.

Robin: what is it Henry?

Henry: if i ask you to teach me how to use a bow and arrow would you teach me?

Robin: it depends on your mothers Henry only if they are ok with it.

Henry: i haven't exactly asked them.

Robin: and why not

Henry: because i wanted to surprise them with something that i was hoping you would help me with as well.

Robin: well ok then when do you want to start?

Henry: can we do tomorrow?

Robin: yes we can.

KIllian, Emma and Regina.

Killian: since when does the lad know how to use an arrow?

Emma: this is the first i've heard about this

Regina: same here pirate.

Emma: who is he with?

Killian: he's with Robin just off the toll bridge

Regina: my next concern is why my son is using an arrow

Emma: don't tell henry i told you this but i found some plans.

Regina: and?

Emma: by the looks of it he's just going to shoot party banners from them while riding a horse. but thats just what im seeing from the drawings.

Killian: quite impressed if the lad pulls it off.

Regina: rather Henry be four again and playing with toy arrows.

Emma: Same.

Snow, Emma and David

Emma: Hi mommy.

Snow: Emma have you been drinking

Emma: YEP

*Emma adds David*

Emma: HI Daddy

David: Emma are you drunk?

Emma: Yep

Snow: What are we going to do with you?

Emma: mommy, daddy?

Snow : yes Em?

David: Yes?

Emma: iiii LOVE YOUUUU

Snow: i love you sweet heart

David: i love you to princess

Snow: David what are we going to do with her?

David: well first im going to pick her up. Emma where are you?  
Emma: with Killian JONES, JONES, WITH KILLIAN JONES.

Snow: what is it with that song?

Regina and Zelina

Zelina: Hello sis, can you help me with something.

Regina: OMG Zelina stop texting me

Zelina: please?

Regina: tell me first.

Zelina: fine... can you bail me out.

Regina: what did you do this time?

Zelina: remember when i went to Snow's

Regina: how Emma and David handcuffed you?

Zelina: how did you know that?

Regina *sends photo*

Zelina: um yea can you come and get me

Regina:...

Zelina: please there just standing there staring at me.

Zelina: its creepy.

Regina: ok fine.

Zelina: thx sis

*two hours later*

Zelina: Regina are you coming to get me or not

Regina: i said i would come and get you... i didn't say when. :)

Zelina: there still staring at me...

Killian and David

Killian: Mate? i need your assistance?

David: what's wrong?

Killian: Emma's had too much rum and wants the both of us to jump in the ocean bare.

David: im on my way now, Emma was texting me.

Killian: aren't you at the station with that witch?

David: no. Emma made them to make Zelina think we are there.

Killian: ?

David: ill explain when i get there.

Killian: hurry mate, i don't think i can distract her any longer, she really wants to jump ship.

 **Please keep those reviews coming. And I you got any ides on anything please tell me, love to hear them.**


	6. Chapter 6

Emma and Neil

Neil: Emma?

Emma: who is this?

Neil: its Neil i need help

Emma: won't ask again who are you?

Neil: really Emma its me

Emma: stop messing with me. Neil is dead,

Neil: nether is Cora

Emma: you got a going there but how do i know its really you.

Neil: Tallahassee?

Emma: my parents know about that.

Neil: my father is the dark one, i was in neverland for years with my teenage grandfather.

Emma: everyone who was in neverland knows about that.

Neil: ok then, Henry was conceived in a hotel room after a couple left, we snuck in.

Neil: im sure no one knows about that?

Emma: ok then, in the fake pregnant scam what did i use as a baby bump

Neil: a bag that you used to hid the stuff we took and that's when i got you your swan keychain.

Emma: no one knew it was a keychain. Neil where are you?

Neil: hiding in the bushes in font of papa's shop.

Emma: need a ride?

Neil: yes please i dont want him to see me yet.

Emma: ok ill drive by you want me to get you anything from granny's?

Neil: no thanks Em just please hurry.

Emma: omw

Emma and Rumple:

Rumple: miss swan is my son back in town and ALIVE

Emma: yes but don't tell him i told you.

Rumple: and why not.

Emma: hes not sure on how he is alive again but if Cora is back then im just glad Neil is to.

Rumple: WHERE IS HE?

Emma: don't you yell at me, I'm the only one in town who even knows hes back, well and you now.

Rumple: i want my son back.

Emma: well come and get him.

Rumple: wait is he at the apartment or granny's?

Emma: Granny's third room, oh and he won't answer to anyone if they knock, so kick the door once and wait

Rumple: ok got it.

Emma, Snow David and Regina.

Emma: not only Cora but now Neil's back.

Regina: how did that happened?

Snow: how you holding up?

Emma: don't know Regina and mom im scared.

Snow: why?

Emma: well if Neil and Cora can come back from the dead. who else do you think will turn up.

Regina: you got a point there

David: if Neil and Hook starts fighting over you im not afraid to get my sword.

Emma: dad really?

Snow: oh he's serious.

Henry and Neil

Neil: im sure you heard by now that i am alive again.

Henry: hi dad.

Neil: Henry are you free?

Henry: yea

Neil: want to meet me at the park?

Henry: ok let me ask mom first

Henry: mom said yes as long as she comes too.

Neil? Emma or Regina?

Henry: Regina.

Neil: …. ok then

Henry and Regina

Henry: hey mom remember when i used to look up those ways to annoy?

Regina: Henry where are you going with this

Henry: nothing bad. Just think the Disney version for this ok

Regina: ok what is it

Henry: why does peter pan always fly?

Regina: because he neverlands

Henry: you heard i before?

Regina: Emma told me while we were looking for you... on neverland.

Henry: ok then

Emma and Neil

Neil: did you tell my papa that im back?

Emma: Why?

Neil: because, he just came over and he had known the knock and only you know that.

Emma: he was there when you died, he did this curse just to find you. i think its best if he did know.

Neil: well he has not stop hugging me its getting weird.

Emma: omg lol thats creepy

Neil: help me.

Emma: oh and let you know i spilled the beans to my parents so they know your back as well

Neil: do i need to run from your father?

Emma: no

Emma: Killian needs to run from my father.

Neil: you and hook are together?

Emma: yes Neil, yes we are.

 **Thanks for reading love to hear from you and if you have any ideas on messages let me know cuz im always open to ideas.**


	7. Chapter 7

Snow and Emma

Snow: Emma can you get some diapers for your brother on your way home?

*an hour later*

Snow: Emma?

Snow: Emma are you ok?

Snow: Omg Emma don't make me tear apart this town looking for you

*another hour later*

Snow: EMMA RUTH SWAN ANSWER ME PLEASE

Emma: omg mom my battery died I'm fine. And yes i can get them anything else you need?

Snow: a new mind.

Emma: calm down mom really im fine.

Snow: fine

Zelena and Snow

Zelena: i would like to apologize for my past mistakes

Snow: alright toad why are you apologizing

Zelena: im trying to apologize and you just call me a toad.

Snow: well Regina said your mother called you a toad. this all i known about that

Zelena: well that hurts. and i was trying to apologize for taking your baby.

Snow: his name is Neil

Zelena: let you know that spell was never going to harm him.

Snow: really?

Zelena: yes it was more of their presents that helped activated it

Snow: well that's good to know.

Zelena: even if i stayed with her, i may not have had Regina. Don't tell her this but im kind of glad i have a sister.

Snow: don't tell who Cora or Regina?

Zelena: both. my mother is embarrassing, and Regina's not too bad.

Snow: well Regina did try to kill me many times

Zelena: and i did take one of your children away from you so i guess me and Regina are more alike than we think.

Snow: as long as you don't give me a poison apple im fine

Zelena: not my thing, you'll be a flying monkey before poison apples.

Snow: like someone names Walsh? who was he anyway?

Zelena: and you know him how?

Snow: the missing year, Emma was almost engaged to him

Zelena: omg she almost married the so called wizard of OZ

Snow: WHAT omg gtg yell at my daughter

Zelena: good luck. oh and if you cant seem to find her she's with hook at the bay.

Snow: and she told me she was at the station great another reason to yell at her

Zelena and Cora

Zelena: Mother why did you call me a toad

Cora: great who told you

Zelena: not the point

Cora: it was before i knew you were the child i lost

Zelena: better be, but why?

Cora: i heard about the green skin but i also heard rumors that you had slimy skin two but obviously not.

Zelena: that's it?

Cora: and i never known your name other than the wicked witch

Zelena: ok you will be forgiven if you do one thing

Cora: and what is that

Henry, Emma and Snow

Snow: omg ppl have you seen what Cora is wearing

Emma: no what is she wearing.

Henry: omg i cant stop laughing, so tempted to throw a bucket of water on her.

Snow: HENRY

Emma: omg is she dressed up like Zelena?

Henry: yep green skin and all

Snow: if that is some joke from the movie then i get it but Henry don't you dare throw water on her.

Emma: Henry where are you.

Henry: Granny's with dad.

Emma: so omw

Zelena and Regina

Regina: Why is our mother dressed like that?

Zelena: well i busted her for calling me a toad and slimy green skin

Regina: and as punishment you made her walk down main street with that on

Zelena: wait she let the house like that. EVEN BETTER

Regina: yep most of the town knows about it.

Zelena: i told her she just had to wear it for a couple of days no matter what. didn't think she would leave the house like that

Regina: well she did.

 **Thanks for reading love to hear from you and if you have any ideas on messages let me know cuz im always open to ideas.**


	8. Chapter 8

Henry and Rumple

Henry: omg grandpa what are you doing that's disturbing please tell me no one was meant to find that.

Rumple: and what video did you find exactly?

Henry: you taking your clothes off dancing.

Rumple: omg Henry boy im sorry you found that that was something i had done for belle

Henry: please erase that memory i beg you.

Rumple: free of charge nothing in return. Come by the shop

Henry: im running

Emma and Regina

Emma: why is there a video of Rumple stripping on Henry's computer?

Regina: WHAT! This is the first i ever heard about this

Emma: he ran out of the apartment screaming GOING TO KILL GRANDPA my dad was by far confused

Regina: lol he must have thought Henry was talking about him. Would love to have seen the look on his face.

Emma: shouldn't we be more concern what Henry is going to do to rumple.

Regina: meet you at gold's shop now then

Emma: already in the car

Henry and Regina

Henry: Mom?

Regina: yes Henry?

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Regina: Where are you going with this?

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Regina: Henry, did you get into that pirates rum?

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: *Sends picture gif*

Regina: oh god no.

Regina: HENRY WHERE ARE YOU RIGHT NOW

Henry: i'm a pink fluffy unicorn dancing on a rainbow.

Regina and Emma

Emma: Regina i know its your night but i think its safe if Henry stayed with me tonight

Regina: does this have anything on why Henry keeps texting me about pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Emma: yes. Remember when Henry went to gold's.

Regina: Yes of course.

Emma: well its just a side effect to the memory potion gold said it should ware off in a couple of days.

Regina: well its an old tune Henry used to piss me off with and now its stuck in my head again.

Emma: ha, how do you think myself and my parents feel atm

Regina: bring him around ill sound proof his room and we can all sleep tonight.

Emma: HE'S YOURS.

Regina: that's my boy

Henry to everyone.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Emma: REGINA GET THAT PHONE AWAY FROM HIM

Snow: oh god not again.

Neil: OMG Henry i love that tune pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Emma: OH GOD NOT YOU TWO

Rumple: i know a spell that can mute the boy…. And my son

Snow: someone slip me a poison apple and put me out of my misery

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Regina: Emma im trying im destroying my home chasing him for it.

Regina: its gone quiet im scared

*five minutes later*

Regina: HOW THE FUCK DID HE GET ON THE ROOF

Emma: oh god my mom, dad and Neil are on our way

Regina: HURRY

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

Henry: pink fluffy unicorns dancing on rainbows.

 **Thanks for reading love to hear from you and if you have any ideas on messages let me know cuz im always open to ideas.**

 **Ps: sorry if I got that tune stuck in anyone's head**

 **pps: the part with Rumple I got from the movie Robert Carlyle is in. The Full Monty.**


	9. Chapter 9

Henry and Girl

Henry: can't wait

Girl: me two

Henry: don't let my grandmother see us texting.

Girl: still can't believe she's your grandmother.

Henry: i know right aunt id believe but not grandma

Girl: same here. ttyl

Snow and Henry

Snow: Henry who are you texting

Henry: someone.

Snow: don't make me say it out loud

Henry: ok just a possible girlfriend but still unsure where were at to please don't tell moms yet

Snow: fine but you know the rules

Henry: ok, ok

Snow: tell me who it is or ill say it out loud

Henry: how about if i talk to her and see if she can come around tomorrow night for dinner. And we can all meet her

Snow: ok then only if you tell me if she is in this class

Henry: no

Snow: Henry

Henry: i meant no she isn't in this class.

Snow: Damm

Henry: since when do you say Damm?

Snow: since when should you be reading?

Henry and Girl

Henry: Grandma caught me

Girl: lol what did you say

Henry: i said if i you would like to come over for dinner tomorrow night, grandma wouldn't say anything... in class

Girl: ok then ill have to ask my father.

Henry: let me know soon

Emma and Snow.

Snow: omg Henry may have a girlfriend. But don't tell him i told you

Emma: i know

Snow: you do?

Emma: he has pictures of tea cups and white rabbits on his laptop

Snow: omg hes dating Jefferson's girl

Emma: yep.

Snow: well she may be coming over to tea tomorrow night..

Emma: omg ill let Regina know

Snow: good thinking and Em can you get something for tomorrowim busy

Emma: yea ill ask Regina if she would make her lasagna.

Snow: more food the better

Emma and Regina

Emma: are you free tomorrow night?

Regina: where are you going with this.

Emma: Henry has a girlfriend and we are having them over for dinner tomorrow so its one big family dinner

Regina: Henry has a girl friend

Emma: you coming or not

Regina: i think you know my answer

Henry, Regina and Emma

Regina: Henry since when are you seeing a girl.

Emma: omg Regina really text him in class

Regina: yes Emma, HENRY.

Meanwhile

Henry and Snow

Snow: Henry what had we just been talking about

Henry: its moms they both know

Snow: and Regina is freaking out

Henry: yep.

Snow: ok calm her down

Henry, Regina and Emma

Henry: yes its true and just like everyone else you are going to meet her tomorrow night

Emma: its Grace isnt it

Henry: and what makes you say that

Emma: the pictures on your laptop

Henry: you been through my laptop?

Emma: had to send email and couldn't find the charger for mine

Regina: is it Grace?

Henry: you will have to see

Emma: it's Grace

Henry and Grace

Henry: omg im sorry about last night

Grace: its fine i had fun, when your mother stopped staring at me

Henry: kinda glad my aunt and grandmother wasn't there that would have gone many ways

Grace: oh yea. Even with that photo of Zelena going around

Henry: what photo

Grace: (sends photo)

Henry: omg thats a keeper love the face

Grace: what about your grandfather sitting on her

Henry: so going to be new wallpaper on my computer


	10. Chapter 10

Cora and Zelena:

Zelena: mother you snore and kick

Cora: well if you don't like it go and stay in Regina's room

Zelena: fine but if she says no im leaving

Zelena and Regina

Regina: BECAUSE IT MY ROOM

Zelena: its bigger than that box im in

Regina: well at least you have somewhere to live, you want to be out on the street

Zelena: well id rather be out on the street then sleep in the same bed with my mother

Regina: well you wanted to get to know her

Zelena: she kicks and snores, how did your father ever sleep.

Regina: he didn't

Zelena: look i just want to have a good night's sleep without being kicked every five minutes

Regina: wait that's it. Why didn't you say that sooner

Zelena: so i can sleep with you tonight?

Regina: you had to word it like that didn'tyou.

Zelena: OH GOD NO, NOT LIKE THAT

Regina: joke. and yes but you wake me i will hurt you bad

Zelena: i am told im quiet and still, so you won't even know I'm there

Emma and Regina

Regina: Emma can i come over and sleep in your bed with you.

Emma: wtf its 2:30am piss off.

Regina: ok your mad i woke you, Zelena drools

Emma: go away

Regina: ill poof myself ill be on the couch

Emma: whatever

Henry and Emma.

Henry: have you seem mom?

Emma: yes she woke me up to tell me she was coming over and sleeping on the couch

Henry: ok cool Zelena is thinks she upset her

Emma: yes and I'm not happy ether

Henry: why?

Emma: because Regina woke me up

Cora, Zelena and Regina

Cora: Regina is everything ok?

Zelena: well i guess I'm worse than I thought

Regina: leave me alone.

Cora: are you ok where are you

Zelena: sis did i snore

Cora: Zelena your worse than me

Zelena: well wouldn't be if i wasn't being kicked every five minutes

Regina: SHUT UP THE TWO OF YOU whenever Henry isn't there one of you can sleep in his bed or the couch

Zelena: NOT IT

Regina: well that settles it mother is on the couch.

Cora: id rather sleep on nails

Regina: it pulls out into a bed

Zelena: WHAT! you tell us now

Regina: and they called me evil for a reason.

Emma and Snow

Snow: EMMA RUTH SWAN

Emma: what i do

Snow: YOU ARE IN SO MUCH TROUBLE

Emma: mommy what i do, your scaring me

Snow: YOU KNOW EXACKLY WHAT YOU DID

Emma: just tell me..or im running away and never coming home again

Snow: DONT YOU DARE I WILL GRAB THAT SKROLL AND DRAG YOU BY YOUR LEGS BACK OVER THAT TOWN LINE.

Emma: omg mommy stop it im crying what you are talking about

Snow: shit. i lost a bet with your father. He thinks I can't be mean i had to yell at you like you were in massive trouble

Emma: so im not in trouble?

Snow no princess, im sorry you ok

Emma: NO I AM NOT OK

Snow: want me to bring your blankly

Emma: yes

Snow: where are you

Emma: toll bridge

Snow: you want me to bring you anything else

Emma: and teddy

Emma and David

Emma: NOT FUNNY

David: I cant believe she told you how far did she go

Emma: i said i would cross the line, and she would drag me back by my feet

David: ok she went a little too far and you took her serious

Emma: she's bringing me blankly and teddy

David: she made you cry. i was wrong about her

Emma: mommy's here.

David: want me there to?

Emma: yes please toll bridge

David: im coming

 **Thanks for being patient I am running out of ideas. But ill keep posting Till then**


	11. Chapter 11

**thank you to everyone how has been reading just a little note. this chapter contains mentions from the show _orange is the new black_ , please no hate if you do not wish to read i will not be offended **

Emma and David

Emma: are you sure you are going to be ok by yourself

David: Emma really its fine

Emma: you sure I could come down for an hour to help with the paperwork

David: its fine Em, just go back to sleep

Emma: ill bring you lunch then

David: no Em your mother is doing that you just stay in bed and sleep

Emma: Dad I'm board I want to work.

David: you were up all night over the toilet.

Emma: fine, just tell me how much paperwork have you done

David: more than half, happy now,

Emma: half, not ok you should have it all done

David: Emma, you have been distracting me by texting me for the last ten minutes

Emma: fine but when I come in I don't want any on my desk

David: you're not coming in because you can't leave the house.

Emma: yea, well watch me

Emma: really?

David: guess who called Regina while you were asleep this morning.

Emma: to keep me trapped, trapped, trapped like an animal.

David: you have been watching that show again, haven't you

Emma: to know what show im talking about that means you've seen it to

David: don't tell Snow, and was that really what prison was like

Emma: not that I know, did you forget that I spent most of my time pregnant

David: right and the few months after?

Emma; really dad, you're asking me if I went all Alex and Piper?

David: oh god no, not the convo I wanted to have

Emma: where are you up to

David: almost finished season 2

Emma: just started season 2 maybe we should watch season 3 together

David: your watching it now, aren't you

Emma: yep

David: well don't start season three without me.

Emma: shouldn't you be working

David: well texting you isn't getting it done.

Snow and Regina

Snow: Regina can you get Emma some lunch

Regina: why can you or David do it

Snow: David is stuck at the station and I have class

Regina: nice

Snow: im teaching all day I can't just leave

Regina: fine, and omg you will never guess what Robin did last night

Snow: omg what

Regina: you know the song "all bout that bass"

Snow: yea

Regina: he started dancing to it and singing it differently

Snow: how differently

Regina: im all about that mills

Regina: about that mills

Regina: not Marion

Snow: omg he must really have moved on from Zelena

Regina: yea, what does Emma want for lunch.

Snow: just go to granny's ad ask for Emma's usual

Regina: ok then

Snow: oh and Regina when you see her she may be watching a show you might not approve of

Regina: what kind of show is she watching.

Snow: its got a lot of girl and girl contact. Just to warn you

Regina: you talking about Orange is the new black?

Snow: you watch that show

Regina: when im alone

Snow: I watch it to. Don't tell David or Emma, but I know Em watches it

Regina: its fine maybe the three of us could watch it together one night

Snow: I don't want Em to know I watch it.

Regina: why she already knows I watch it

Snow: how bout tomorrow night. Il get David to watch Neil, and we can say that Emma is staying at Hooks but she will be with us

Regina: sounds like a plan

Snow: sounds like a break out.

Regina: the bandit in you is strong it is.

Snow: really Star wars now

Regina: Henry watched it

Snow: I know, so does Emma

Regina: that girl will watch anything

Snow and Regina (Henry)

Snow: mom can you come and get me please im at the toll bridge

Regina: snow since when do you call me your mother

Snow: sorry mom its Henry my phone died and I have grandmas phone

Regina: wheres your phone

Snow: on the charger, in my room

Regina: ok Henry ill come and get you


	12. Chapter 12

Emma and David

Emma: Dad are you busy.

David: na just cleaning, that hooker your mom got has some serious sucking power

Emma: DAD WTF GROSS

David: what?

Emma: I don't even want to know, who or why you have hookers

David: what gave you that idea

Emma: cus you said that hooker your mom got has some serious sucking power

David: OMG I DID NOT WRITE HOOKER

David: I was talking about the vacuum

Emma: omg you got auto corrected

David: what?

Emma: the phone changed it on you

Snow and David

David: omg has your phone ever changed words on you

Snow: no y what happened?

David: was talking to Em and lets just say one word got changed and made sound so wrong about us

Snow: what words

David: I was talking about the hoover and it replaced it to hooker I didn't even know, Em thought WE had a hooker

Snow: oh dear god that's funny

David: im scared to go home

Snow: omg telling Regina this.

David: NNNOOOO

Snow: shes with me now she thinks it funny.

Snow: Regina said to check before sending and don't send something like that to Henry

David: Ems not gonna look at us for a while

Bell and Rumple

Rumple: how is my pregnant girl

Bell: Rumple how did you know

Rumple: perfect I said perfect, stupid phone changed it

Rumple: wait, your pregnant

Bell: no but that was funny.

Rumple: really that's not funny

Bell: David said to Emma that they had hookers and he was talking about the vacuum

Rumple: omg that's the funniest thing ive ever heard

Bell: when you said pregnant I thought that was one of the corrections

Rumple: my Bell that was mean

Bell: yea but funny

Emma and David

Emma: dad is my new packet of penis on my bed?

Emma: omg love that auto correct I said penis

Emma: P.E.N.S NO I

David: good I was getting a little concerned there

Emma: I would be two

David: first hookers then penis this autocorrect is gonna drive us nuts

Emma: ya think

Bell and Robin

Robin: can I ask you something

Bell: Robin you don't need to ask that but yes you can

Robin: there was a book I found in your library called " the cat in the hat"

Bell: what about it

Robin: what would a cat what with a hat?

Bell: it suppose to be a kids book its just unrealistic

Robin: it just confused me

Bell: well how does green eggs and ham sound to you

Robin: discussing

Bell: that's also another one of his books

Robin: whats next a turtle that climbs to the sky

Emma and David

Emma: how was your night

David: just spent e last 3 hours in a bra breaking up a fight

Emma: well there an image I dont want to see

David: bar

Emma: good I don't even what to know why you would be wearing a bra

Henry and Emma

Henry: mom why is there a video of me dancing dressed up as a pink fluffy unicorn

Emma: omg you found that. Remember when you got Rumple to erase your memory

Henry: yea

Emma: you didn't stop singing that tune most of the night and now its stuck in my head again

Henry: who else knows about this

Emma: mostly just the family

Henry: mostly?

Emma: well and extended ppl of the family

Henry: who?

Emma: well me and Regina, both of my parents, Rumple, Bell, Robin, Granny, Ruby, the dwarfs

Henry: oh god

Emma: it's a keeper and its going to come out on your 21st with a lot more embarrassing photos

Henry: ok gtg ask mom if she has any left over poison apples

Emma: good luck getting one

Henry: what you think I won't get my hands on one

Emma: I know you wont


	13. Chapter 13

Emma and Henry

Henry: omg mum have you seen the what the new Disney movie is

Emma; no what is it this time

Henry: its Elsa and Anna

Emma: really we so should see if they want to come back and watch it

Henry: and there some snow man named Olaf

Emma: omg Henry it was just on tv dam poor Elsa

Henry: what about Kristoffs hair

Emma: couldn't even recognise him well he did say that he cut it

Henry: I wonder how much of the story is true

Emma: what do you mean?

Henry: well how often do you see Ruby on a bike with a basket, or grandma in a blue and yellow dress singing in the woods.

Emma: you got a point my mom is a badass better than any Disney version

Henry: defiantly

Emma: the day my mom wears that dress will be the day Disney gets a story right

Henry: I can picture it in a way, grandma in that dress singing and dancing in the woods covered with birds.

Emma: wonder if we could get her to do that one day.

Henry: maybe we could get the whole town dressed up like there Disney versions and film it.

Emma: ill tell you one thing.

Henry: that is.

Emma: this place beats Disney land any day.

Henry: defiantly its like this town is the real Disney land and know body knows it

Emma: your right when I was growing up everyone always talked about Disney movies

Henry: if only you knew then

Emma: yea could have said something like. "I am the lost daughter of Snow white and Prince Charming"

Henry: if only knew the family tree the grandson of prince Charming is also the Grandson of Rumplestiltskin.

Emma: they wouldn't take me seriously

Regina, Henry and Emma

Henry: mom, me and ma had had come up with the best funny ides ever wanna know if you would be interested in helping out.

Emma: Kid I can't see Regina doing this

Henry: Please mom

Regina: let me hear this idea first

Henry: to get ppl in town to dress up as there Disney versions and make a video

Regina: I am not wearing that ugly dress in public.

Emma: told yea kid she wouldn't

Henry: no she said not I public. So mom you in

Regina: and what is the reason behind the video

Emma: just for laughs

Henry: and youtube

Emma: NO not youtube

Henry: no one will believe its really real

Regina: no way Henry its going on the internet

Emma: you got a point kid no one will believe its really us.

Regina: fine im in just to see that pirate of yours in a perm

Emma and Ruby

Emma: hey Anna and Kristoff are coming back to town can I book a room for them

Ruby: curse you can when will they be hear

Emma: just found out there be here sometime in the middle of the night

Ruby: ok the

Emma: if you don't want to wait all night I can pick up a key and sign them in

Ruby: thanks Em it's also wolf time that's why.

Emma: go I can take care of it

Ruby: ill leave what you need out.

Emma: cool ill be there in an hour got to pick up Henry.

Killian and Neil

Killian: what's up mate you doing much tonight

Neil: nope hat you have in mind

Killian: have to wait most of the night for Anna and Kristoff to arrive

Neil: ok then ill bring some movies

Killian: good idea mate

Neil: maybe I should bring the Disney movie of my grandfather and we can laugh at him for being ridicules

Killian: I guess ill know what Swan was talking about when she said something about a perm

Neil: trust me you look ridicules

Henry and Emma

Henry: mom Anna is driving me crazy.

Emma: why what is she doing

Henry: she keeps watching the movie and singing for the first time in forever

Emma: ha whats my father doing about it

Henry: nothing he gave up and is on your bed with headphones

Emma: well tell Anna to LET IT GO and come to the station

Henry: on my way

Henry: btw Anna's wearing your red leather jacket


	14. Chapter 14

Regina, Zelena and Cora

Cora: ok who's idea was I to turn all my clothing green

Regina: you know red and black are my colours so don't look at me

Cora: well you could have had something to do with it

Zelena: yes green is my colour but I am just as clueless as you are about this

Regina: Zelena trust me when I say this, don't lie to our mother

Zelena: no I mean it I really am clueless about this

Cora: Regina im going to have to borrow some of your clothes

Regina: fine just don't ruin any of them

Zelena: she will, knowing her

Cora: Zelena I won't ruin any of them

Zelena: will to

Cora: will not

Zelena: will to

Cora: will not

Zelena: will to

Cora: will not

Regina: we need to find out who did this and fast

Zelena: will to

Cora: will not

Zelena: will to

Cora: will not

Regina: SHUT UP YOU TO

Emma and Regina

Regina: I got a job for you to do

Emma: as sheriff or personal

Regina: sheriff

Emma: what happened?

Regina: it wasn't Zelena but someone turned all of my mother's clothing green

Emma: bet she hated that

Regina: there still fighting over it

Emma: want me there

Regina: yes, they will see you and shut up

Emma: that bad hu?

Regina: just hurry

Emma and Killian

Emma: what did you do last night

Killian: why do you ask love

Emma: because Regina is texting me about something that happened

Killian: do I want to know

Emma: someone changed all of Cora's clothing green and she's blaming Zelena

Killian well I can tell you I was on my ship all night

Emma: can you prove it

Killian: just ask Smee he was with me

Emma: ok then I will

Killian and Neil

Neil: dude your not going to believe what I did last night

Killian: does this involve Cora's cloths being turned green

Neil: let me guess Emma told you

Killian: dude you better run for it

Neil: well at least there not pink

Neil: an they don't know it was me

Killian: why did you do it

Neil: Revenge

Killian: do I want to ask

Neil: my papa and HER were once together. That's just wrong

Killian: thanks for that image excuse me while I go burn my eyes

Neil: wanna help get revenge

Killian: anything to upset that crocodile

Neil: you know that skin of his did creep me out

Killian: if you want t know anything about your mother you can ask me

Neil: did she really love you more

Killian: yes, I could give her adventures and places to go than being stuck at home with the same scene all the time

Neil: and y papa chickened out of the ogre wars

Killian: that he did,

Killian: he even tried to fight me for your mother back

Neil: he did?

Killian: the next time we met he was the DO and killed her

Neil: the do

Killian: dark one

Neil: I know it just sounded funny

Killian: I see what you did there

Emma, Regina and Henry

Emma: HENRY

Regina: HENRY DANIEL MILLS WHY DID YOU LOOK US IN A ROOM TOGETHER

Emma: way to use the full name

Emma: WITH OUT OUR MAGIC

Regina: ANSWER US NOW

Henry: I see the way the two of you look at each other

Regina: what do you mean by that

Henry: :p

Emma: HENRY.

Henry: why are you texting each other you're in the same room

Emma: were mad at you Henry and were not talking to each other

Regina: why do you thing myself and Emma should be together we are happy with the men in our lives

Emma: what you rather have two moms fight over you

Henry: no I want two moms that love each other and live in the same house together

Emma: what is wrong with Killlian and Robin?

Henry: nothing

Regina: look Henry we both care about you and we care about each other if one is hurt we hate to see you get hurt we care ok

Henry: well it would make me happier if the to of you are together

Emma: well while you are coming to let us out the two of us will talk

Henry: fine im coming

Killian and David

Killian: have you seen Swan

David: thought she was with you

Killian: no she was suppose to meet me at granny's an hour ago

David: meet you in 5 ill help you look

Everyone

David: anyone seen Emma?

Snow: what Emma's missing we need to find her fast

Zelena: nope sorry

Cora: been home all day

Robin: no I haven't but I haven't herd from Regina all day ether

Snow: Regina and Emma have gone missing

Ruby: ill go around an try find a scent of either

David: thank you Ruby

Bell: they haven't been to the library

Rumple: or the shop

Grumpy: who ever messed with them is going to get my axe through their head

Snow: bit much there Grumpy, but your right anyone messed with my baby and they're going to get hurt

Whale: ill let you know if they come by

Robin: Where's Henry

Snow: oh god

Henry: im fine

David: have you seen your others

Henry: there out in the woods together

Ruby: heading there now

Robin: you better not be lying

Henry: im not Pinocchio

Ruby: I think your nose just grew

Henry: they have to say three words to unlock the door

Grumpy: my axe will free them

Henry: no it wont

Henry: just don't worry bout it there fine

Ruby: FOUND THEM

Emma: HENRY

 **yes im back, and let you know I love reviews.**

 **Also any idea or something you would like to see if it small or big let me know and I will try to put everyone's ideas in. wether its just two people talking or an event.**

 **Ps: I have been thinking about making a sister story on the texting and the events on what is happening to everyone while they are messaging and there thoughts on each topic. would that bring some interest to people? please let me know**


	15. Chapter 15

Emma and Pan

Pan: strange object

Emma: who is this

Pan: ok ill play along my name is pan

Emma: Peter Pan?

Pan: Yes how did you know that

Emma: how the F did you get back to Stoybrooke

Pan: wait who is this

Emma: YOU KIDDNAPPED MY SON

Pan: crap Evil queen

Emma: you wish

Pan: oh the blonde

Emma: WATCH IT

Pan: what is this thing

Emma: its call a phone you idiot

Pan: can you take me to my son's place

Emma: so he can kill you again gladly

Pan: because I have no power

Emma: just like Cora

Pan: who?

Emma: Regina's mother she was dead and now alive and has no magic

Pan: ok then

Emma: where are you

Emma: so I can hit you with my car

Pan: sitting by a lake

Emma: ok someone will be there soon

Pan: your not coming

Emma: HELL NO

Emma and Rumple

Emma: go and pick up your father he's by the lake

Rumple: He's dead

Emma: well nether is Cora and Neil want to explain that

Rumple: ok ill go and get him but can you tell everyone

Emma: just told my parents now but ill text Neil soon

Emma and Neil

Emma: you know how Cora and you are alive again

Neil: where r u going with this

Emma: Pan's back

Neil: not my fault if papa kills him again

Emma: that's what my thoughts were spread the word and no one is leaving Henry alone for a minute

Neil: where is he now

Emma: at School ill tell my mom

Neil: he is to be watched at all times

Emma and Snow

Emma: Pan's back don't let Henry out of your sight

Snow: ill tell him right after class and not let him out of my sight

Emma: we are not letting him out of our sight again

Henry and Regina

Henry: mom any chance I could learn magic

Regina: not a chance

Henry: want to leave me defenceless from Pan

Regina: you won't be because someone will be with you at all times

Henry: what even when I'm in the bath room that's gross

Regina: ok I see your point but if I find out you used this on anyone Henry you will be sorry that I taught you

Henry: thanks mom what you going to teach me

Regina: fireballs only ok

Henry: perfect

Regina: Emma sucked at fireballs

Henry: do I wan to know what happened

Regina: you know that tree that caught fire

Henry: wow

Henry and Neil

Henry: Dad I was going through my old messages and I found something

Neil: and what is that

Henry: PFUDOR

Neil:?

Henry: Pink Fluffy….

Neil: FLUFFLE PUFF

Henry: I looked it up there are more videos

Neil: no way

Henry: yea

Neil: omg we so need to watch these together

Henry: yea lets do it with my grandparents around to drive them crazy

Neil: Henry that's mean…

Neil: I rather watch it loud at papas and drive him crazy

Henry: ok let's do that

Henry, Neil, Rumple and Pan

Henry: :p

Neil: :p

Rumple: I don't want to know

Pan: someone send me back to neverland

Henry: :p

Rumple: nope don't want to know

Henry: :p

Neil: :p

Pan: Rumple please kill me again

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

 **OMG OMG OMG 50 Review I love you all too much, I really do. Like I said no one is really dead in this story and someone will be back lets see If anyone can guess.**

 **Till next chapter**


	16. Chapter 16

Killian Snow and David

Killian: i know i would ask this more formal

David: i think i know where your going with this

Snow: YES

David: really your going to ask us like this

Killlian: i have just found the perfect ring

David: when you come over next we are having a serious talk, you know that

Killian: i know i just want to know if im wasting my time getting the ring first before asking

Snow: well if Ems not with you we can meet you to look at it

Killian: she is, why dont the two of you meet me at grannys at four and i can take you from there.

Henry and Snow

Snow: Henry how would you feel about having Killian as a father

Henry: he's gonna marry her

Snow: hes getting the ring, just dont tell her

Henry NNOOO they cant be together

Snow: and why not Henry

Henry: because my mom's are together

Snow: HENRY

Henry: you can SO tell

Snow: stop it

Henry: what i see the way they look at each other,

Snow: HENRY PORN

Henry: not porn if they love each other im tell mom that

Snow: im going to do something to get the image out of my head and DONT TELL YOUR MOTHER

Henry: what Regina's not going to be happy that Emma is getting proposed to

Henry ad Regina

Henry: OMG mom never believe what grandma just told me

Regina: and what is that

Henry: Killian is gonna propose

Regina: how nice for them

Regina: you can put this idea of yours behind you about this SwanQueen you have planed all over your books

Henry: ...

Henry: admit it ur happy for her

Regina: yes the fact that Robin hasn't proposed yet

Henry: no comment

Emma and Killian

Emma: whats with the ring in your jacket i found

Killian: not mine

Emma: omg your going to propose to me Killian i just ruined the surprise didn't i

Killian: rings not yours

Emma: ok il play along who is it

Killian: its Robin's hes going to propose to Regina and asked me to hide the ring

Emma: please tell me your not kidding

Killian: no love, im not

Emma: ok ok i wont say anything to her

Killian and Regina

Killlian: i need your help with something

Regina: anything to do with the proposal

Killian: yes how did you know

Regina: Henry told me, he got it from Snow

Killlian: dam as long as Swan doesn't find out the truth

Regina: what happened

Killian: she found the ring i had to lie

Killian: had to tell her i was holding it for Robin

Regina: so you want me to hold on to it till you can ask her

Killian: if it not to much to ask and ill ask Robin too

Regina: ok then ill be on my way to pick it up then

Killian: thank you Regina

Robin and Killian

Killian: mate i need you to keep a secret

Robin: what is it

Killian: im going to propose to Swan

Robin: wel i hope she says yes and...

Killian: and?

Robin: i am going to propose to Regina

Killian: Mate thats amazing

Robin: still need to plan it

Killian: the thing is Swan found my ring and i said i was holding it for you

Robin: where is it now

Killian: Regina is picking it up now

Robin: that just gave me the perfect idea

Killian: im listing

Robin: if i give my ring im going to propose to Regina to Emma, we could go on a dubble date and give the girls a signal and we can propose together no knowing they are wearing each others rings the whole time.

Killian: talk about a unique surprise

Robin: what do you say.

Killian: im in

Killian and Henry

Killian lad how would you feel about the ide of me possibly marring your mother

Henry: god i hope your talking about Em

Killian: real funny

Killian: of corse im talking about Swan

Henry: because i know about your ring swap

Killian: ok then

Henry: i just hope you know what your getting into

Killian: oh i do lad

Emma and Regina

Emma: omg i cant believe what those boys are doing

Regina: yea a double date, i mean really

Emma: well it is just dinner how bad can it be


	17. Chapter 17

Pan, Cora and Neil

Pan: we really need to discuss something

Neil: i don't want tp know

Cora: who are the two of you,

Pan: i am Rumple's father

Cora: oh awkward

Pan: why?

Cora: i was once in love with your son

Neil: THANKS FOR THAT IMAGE I WILL NEVER GET OUT OF MY HEAD

Cora: well who are you

Neil: Rumple is my papa, and Pan is my grandfather

Cora: i dont even want to know how that is possible

Neil: you hear of neverland

Cora: yea

Pan: i was there for over 300 years

Cora: ok still confused but moving on

Pan: so far we are the only ones who is alive agaio what are we going to do about it

Neil: got a point. im just cluless about this as the two of you are

Cora: who's next is the big question

Neil: well what do we all have in common

Pan: we died

Neil: other than that

Cora: we all have something to do with Rumple

Pan: good point, who else has died that knows him

Neil: my mama

Neil: oh let my mama come back

Cora: well i just hope its not someone who can kill us again im liking my chance to get to know my own daughter

Neil: it's because of Zelena i died in the first place

Emma and Snow

Emma: mom i thing someone else has come back from the dead again

Snow: im afraid to know who

Emma: its good

Snow: Em who is it

Emma: does the name Leopold mean anything to you

Snow: YOU BETTER NOT BE JOKING

Emma: nope turn around

Emma and Regina

Emma: Leopold's back

Regina: what

Emma: my grandfather, Snow's father, your last husband, he's alive

Regina: JFC

Emma: he has been asking about you

Regina: what did you say

Emma: not much you moved on have a son, and you killed thousands

Regina: EMMA WHY WOULD YOU TELL HIM THAT

Emma: omg kidding

Regina: not funny

Emma: i laughed mom thought it was funny

Regina: still

Emma: what couldn't get the evil joke

Regina: ok moving on

Emma: but that didnt stop my mother from telling him

Regina: WHAT WHY DIDNT YOU STOP HER

Emma: she made it sound like you were just grieving over his loss and from pain left over from Daniels

Regina: she mention the killing

Emma: no

Emma: he wants to know when he can see you

Regina: i dont know if i want to just yet

Emma: understood hang on Leopold want to try texting you... this will be funny

Emma: Reginai apoliges if i caused you any plain i would like too see you again

Regina: ok Emma tell him ill be on my way

Regina: ill bring Henry with me

Emma: and yes he knows about Henry and the adoption

Regina and Zelena

Zelena: sis can i borrow your car

Regina: and tell me why i should let you

Zelena: i want to go and get some lunch

Regina: theres food at home

Zelena: mother ate it all

Regina: she ate a whole chicken and the soup i made last night

Zelena: and found your frozen lasagna

Regina: WHAT THAT WAS FOR TONIGHT

Zelena: try telling the dumpster that

Regina: omg lol yea ok you can take my car but come to grannys ill order what you want

Zelena: coffee and pie.

Regina: ok but get a scratch on my car and just remember who still has fireballs in the family

Emma and Regina

Emma: did you teach Henry how to make fireballs

Regina: he is only to use it if in danger and it's the only thing he knows

Emma: and why did you teach him

Regina: Pan's back

Emma: ok i see your point

Regina: did he use it when he was not suposed to

Emma: he and Pan met in the park and Henry got nervous.

Emma: he created it but never thew it, surprised me more than Pan i think

Regina: well he is to only use it in defence, who knows who else will come back

Emma: want to explain that to Grhamm

Regina: WHAT HE'S BACK TO

Emma: not yet but wouldn't surprise me

Regina: you are becoming more evil by the day

Emma: na its just fun to mess with you

Leopold and Snow

Leopold: Snow how do you boil the water thing

Snow: isn't Emma or David there?

Leopold: no they said they had to suddenly leave

Snow: there is a button on the side of the kettle.

Leopold: the button turned red

Snow: and now wait

Leopold: i dont know how you do it

Snow: its called being cursed


	18. Chapter 18

Anna, Elsa and Emma

Elsa: Anna

Elsa: Anna

Elsa: Anna, are you there

Anna: Elsa how did you get in there

Elsa: im not in the device i think the pirate called it a phone

Anna: ok what else does it do

Elsa: dont really know i remember the pirate saying something about the Emma button

Anna: Emma button

Anna: cant find this Emma button

Emma: no but i have been getting the messages the whole time

Anna: oh my god Emma are you ok, where are you?

Emma: Anna calm down im fine im at home

Elsa: these are some strange devices

Emma: phone

Elsa: i dont care what its called there strange

Anna: i just hope Olaf doesn't get one ov these

Emma: your little snowman

Anna: wait you know Olaf

Emma: your movie is coming out next month they been playing the ad for it all week

Anna: whats a movie?

Elsa: forget it Anna we will be home by then

Anna: whats a movie?

Emma: ill explain more later

Emma and Regina

Emma: i can't believe those boys

Regina: i know how they managed to pull it off the whole time

Emma: or the fact that the got us to wear each others rings most of the night

Regina: that to

Emma: i mean were smarter than that to have figure that out

Regina: what you mean

Emma: they got us to wear each other's rings, double date. see where im going with this

Regina: ok yea but it was unexpected

Emma: or the fact Robin talked to me about it and im guessing that Killian did the same to you.

Regina: no that you think about it

Emma: those boys are sneaky

Regina: whats next a double wedding

Emma: now i would draw the line there

Regina: we so gotta have a party

Emma: you want to throw a party

Regina: yea why not

Emma: ok the whole town at grannys tonight then

Regina: bit soon and two many ppl

Emma: yea that could be interesting just to see grannys face trying to get the whole town in that little dinner

Regina: how bout the park tomorrow just the families

Emma: more like the extended family

Regina: its not that big

Emma: did you forget the fact that your my step grandmother

Regina: Emma... Run

Emma: EQMA

Regina: What?

Emma: Omg Evil Queen Mode Activated

Regina: Omg love it

Emma: Grandma

Regina: well then im a great grandma

Emma: yea to Henry

Regina: Emma... My EQM is A

Zelena, Cora and Regina

Cora: Zelena how could you do that to your sister

Regina: what are we talking about?

Zelena: oh you know about Robin and me

Regina: im still wondering why I haven't thrown a fireball at you

Zelena: Because of Robin

Regina: Zelena you pushing my EQMA

Cora: do I want to know what EQMA means

Zelena: I don't know what it means

Regina: that's because Emma made it up and I like it

Cora: what does it mean

Regina: Evil Queen Mode Activated

Zelena: omg this could so be a thing omg WWMA

Regina: Wicked Witch Mode Activated

Cora: omg you two are acting like teenagers

Zelena: no mother where just two sisters bonding

Regina: which reminds me I need to go pick up the sheriffs new car

Zelena: what happened to the old one

Regina: lets just say when I was undercover with the QOD I kinda got a little to much to drink and threw a fire ball at it

Cora: since when do you get drunk

Zelena: omg wish I could have been there

Regina: was not fun afterwards

Zelena: is that why there is a picture of you and Mal in your underwear

Regina: WHAT

Cora: REGINA

Zelena: HA kidding

Regina: your just as bad as Emma

Zelena: not bad WICKED

XXXXXXX

Yay im back not that i will be gone. what do you thing love to hear from you all


	19. Chapter 19

Emma and Regina

Emma: I Love you

Regina: please tell me you were meant to send that to the pirate

Emma: I Love you Regina

Regina: please tell me your drunk

Emma: nope

Regina: your drunk

Emma: AM NOT REGINA

Regina: im not Regina

Emma: then who is it

Regina: Darth Vader

Emma: omg wats up darth

Regina: um Emma its not darth

Emma: then who is it

Regina: yo yo

Emma: yo yo?

Regina: Yo yo mate

Emma: HOOKY

Regina: really you call him Hooky

Emma: only when im drunk

Regina: um Emma you are drunk

Emma: I'm not Emma

Regina: then who is it

Emma: im a fluffy unicorn

Regina: your singing it aren't you

Emma: yep wanna come over and join me

Regina: no

Emma: awww why not u don't love me Reggie

Regina: don't call me Reggie

Emma: ha so it is u Reggie

Regina: damm it

Emma: Reggie i love you can you come over

Regina: no

Emma: why not?

Regina: because Emma it 4am

Emma: no its not you look hot

Regina: where are you right now

Emma: look left

Regina: oh god

Emma: can i come in

Regina: fine

Emma and Regina part 2

Emma: omg Regina im so sorry about what happened last night

Regina: thats ok you only gave me a migraine  
Emma: what did i do?

Regina: you hit me in the head with a book, you thought it was a pillow

Emma: ouch sorry

Regina: my fault really i provoked you

Emma: how?

Regina: i wouldn't kiss you

Emma: really i tried to kiss you

Regina: wait where are you now u were on my couch

Emma: i woke up at home

Regina: just dont tell Henry what you did last night

Emma: oh yea he'll be more determined than ever to get us together then

Regina: i dont think Robin or Killian would like that

Cora and Snow

Cora : have you seen Regina

Snow: the fact that you are asking me this is that im your last person to ask and you are desperate

Cora: that plus i need to ask her something important

Snow: and what is that

Cora: its none of your business

Snow: well i was going to say that Regina is here and was going to ask her for you but now i wont

Cora: fine can you just ask her is there some unknown way to turn the shower off there's water everywhere

Snow: Regina's coming and you better hide

Cora: why?

Snow: for flooding the house shes mad

Cora: well i just wanted her to come home

Snow: so the house isnt flooded

Cora: nope

Snow: then why?

Cora: im surprised you didn't get the memo from Henry

Snow: what about

Cora: its Regina's birthday and were having a surprise birthday party your invited to, and Emma's here fixing those air sacks

Snow: the balloons?

Cora: yea those things

Snow: ok il be there soon

Zelena, Regina, Cora and Emma

Cora: whats this name game i heard about do you know?

Zelena: Regina

Regina: Zelena

Zelena: mother

Cora: Regina

Regina: mother

Cora: Zelena

Zelena: Regina

Regina: Emma

Emma: HI

Zelena: ...

Cora: ...

Zelena: Regina did you add Emma to this

Regina: yep

Emma: Regina

Regina: Emma

Emma: Zelena

Zelena: Regina

Regina: Zelena

Zelena: mother

Cora: Regina

Regina: mother

Cora: Zelena

Zelena: Regina

Regina: Emma

Emma: Zelena

Zelena: mother

Cora: Emma

Emma: Whoop Whoop

Emma and Henry

Emma: Henry the octopus lives down in the deep blue sea, Henry the octopus he's a friend to you and me.

Henry: mom why in the world are you singing a Wiggles song to me?

Emma: found a old video and that's your name

Henry: what video

Emma: oh nothing

Henry: mom don't make me tell mom you were singing wiggles

Emma: ok

David and Snow

David: whats wrong with that girl of ours

Snow: what do you mean

David: well she texted Regina that she loves her and now she's singing Wiggles around the house

Snow: and she has been watching that show lately

David: wiggles?

Snow: no house

David: isnt that the show with that limping know it all jerk

Snow: yep

David: no she's been watching that show for years

Snow: and you know this how

David: becuase she trying to track down that women in the show that looks like her

Snow: yea she does look like our little Emma but there is problem one big difference

David: yea and whats that

Snow: the face that she goes blonde in the show

David: gtg talk to Emma, i think shes hiding something.

Snow: agreed, tell me what she say's

* * *

Hey im back again, please keep sending those reviews in.

I don't own any tv, movie, musical or YouTube that has ever been mentioned in this story. Till next chapter


	20. Chapter 20

Emma and David

David: are you still unhappy from last night

Emma: yes

David: well i have one thing to say to you

Emma: whats that

David: You've got a friend in me

Emma: i know i do dad

David: You've got a friend in me

Emma: you sent that already

David: When the road looks rough ahead

David: And you're miles and miles from your nice warm bed

Emma: omg

David: You just remember what your old pal said

Emma: Boy you've got a friend in me

David: Yeah you've got a friend in me

Emma: daddy :)

David: You got troubles and I got 'em too

Emma: There isn't anything I wouldn't do for you

David: We stick together, we can see it through

Emma: 'Cause you've got a friend in me

David: 'You've got a friend in me

Emma: yea you know that song always cheers me up

David: want me to come over and we sing it together on the karaoke machine

Emma: omg yes please

David: i just have one thing to say

Emma: and whats that

David: And as the years go by

David: Our friendship will never die

David: You're gonna see it's our destiny

Emma: YOUV'E GOT A FRIEND IN ME

David: you were waiting for that weren't you

Emma: :p

Emma and Henry

Emma: Henry

Henry: yea mom

Emma: I know I'm not that tall

Henry: your tall then me atm

Emma: I know I'm not that smart

Henry: ?

Emma: But let me drive my van into your heart

Henry: OMG

Henry: Let me drive my van into your heart

Emma: I know I'm not that rich

Henry: FLUFLE PUFF

Emma: I'm trying to get my start

Henry: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing on Rainbows

Emma: Henry you ruined it

Henry: Well, baby, that's okay

Emma: i see what your doing

Henry: I'll drive us into outer space

Emma: Where we can't hear what people say

Henry: I know I don't have a plan

Henry: I'm working on that part

Emma: At least I've got a van

Henry: So let me drive my van into your heart

Emma: Let me drive my van into your heart

Henry: :P

Emma: :p

Henry: :P

Emma: :p

Henry: :P

Emma: :p

Henry: :P

Emma: :p

Henry: since when did you start watching fluffy

Emma: since when did you care about my little pony

Henry: no i only like fluffy

Henry: and the fact you know its my little pony

Emma: you know how i like the show House and there is a Fluffy House

Henry: HORSE

Emma: twilight

Henry: ?

Emma: i dont take much notice but everyone knows who twilight sparkle is

Henry: true that

Henry: wanna sing PFUDOR and bug grandma

Emma: hek yea

Henry, Bell and Rumple

Henry: i have something to say

Bell: yes Henry?

Rumple: What is it?

Henry: the two of you have a...

Henry: Tale as old as time

Bell: aw thank you Henry

Rumple: Um Bell...

Henry: True as it can be

Bell: ?

Rumple: oh great disney songs

Henry: Barely even friends

Bell: hey

Henry: Then some body bends

Henry: Unexpectedly

Rumple: its just a song Bell, its based on us

Bell: ok then i want to hear more of this song

Henry: Just a little change

Henry: Small to say the least

Henry: Both a little scared

Bell: i defiantly was at first

Henry: Neither one prepared

Bell: ok yea

Rumple: Beauty and the beast

Bell: Rumple you know the song?

Rumple: of course dearie

Bell: well you're no beast to me

Henry: ok im leaving before it gets weird

Rumple: Wanna make some tacos tonight

Henry: GONE

Bell: lol Henry. i'll get the shells on my way home.

Emma and Regina

Emma: omg would Zelena kill me if i sang Ding Dong the witch is dead to her

Regina: yea but just seeing her face would be priceless. i would gladly tie her down for you

Emma: we so have to film her reaction

Regina: agreed

Emma: omg

Regina: what?

Emma: tie your mother down as well ill sing Heads will Roll

Regina: dont know that song

Emma: the line Off with your head

Regina: got it

Emma: would you sing them with me

Regina: ill sing Ding Dong

Emma: sweet tie them down im on my way

Emma: omg

Regina: what now

Emma: Tell everybody I'm on my way

Regina: Really

Emma: New friends and new places to see

Emma: With blue skies ahead yes

Emma: I'm on my way

Emma: And there's nowhere else that I'd rather be

Regina: im a sucker for brother bear

Emma: really? I have the movie

Regina: BRING IT

Regina: please

Emma: ok grandma

Regina: Emma...

Emma: :)

Regina: EQMA

Emma: calm down or i wont bring it

Regina: fine

Henry and Regina

Henry: mom do you like spiders

Regina: the movie or the creatures

Henry: creatures, why whats the movie like

Regina: creepy

Henry: ok, any chance you can come over and burn the spider

Regina: why can Emma or your grandparents do it

Henry: Grandpa is at the station and mom and Grams won't stop screaming each time it moves

Regina: scary cats

Henry: There both on the table

Regina: and where are you

Henry: on top of the stars

Regina: really you had no problem with the one last week

Henry: thats cus this one's bigger

Regina: how much bigger

Henry: tennis ball size

Regina: impossible

Henry: *sends photo*

Regina: good luck

Henry: MOM

Henry: MOM

Henry: MOM

Emma and Killian

Emma: KILLIAN HURRY HELP

Killian: Love whats wrong

Emma: KILLER SPIDER

Killian: really

Emma: its getting closer

Killian: a tiny little spider cant hurt you love just squish it

Emma: its an effing BIG spider

Killian: fine im coming

Killian: but i expect to stay afterwards

Emma: YES ANYTHING TO GET YOU TO KILL THE SPIDER

Emma: the itsy bitys spider came up the water spout

Emma: out came the gun and wiped the effer out

 **Large group Chat**

Emma: Disney karaoke night at the rabbit hole tonight who's going

Leopold: only if my Snow goes

Snow: I am

Rumple: count me out

Zelena: Yea sounds fun

Pan: Whats Karaoke

Cora: doesn't that evolve singing? Count me out

Pan: I haven't sang since Rumple was a boy

Rumple: Im out

David: sounds fun

Ruby: you know I'll be there

Neil: maybe

Regina: I won't

Granny: ill meet you after I close

James: isnt that the bar down from the dinner

Emma: …

Snow: …

Regina: …

Rumple : …

Henry : …

David: … Um James

James: Yes

David: how long have you been in Storybrooke?

James: arrived this morning

David: Everyone we have a problem

James: what did I do?

David: James, where are you

James: docks.

David: stay there

James: whats going on, how will I know its you

David: when you see me you'll know

Emma: dad? Is that who I think it is

David: yep

* * *

OMG **20 chapters I love you all too much just for you the longest chapter (in words) in the story so far**

Songs: You got a Friend in me. let me Drive My Van Into Your Heart. Beauty and the Beast. On My Way


	21. Chapter 21

Emma and David

Emma: DAD

David: Emma why are you yelling at me

Emma: IM NOT YELLING

David: yes you are

Emma: oh caps lock was on didn't know

David: ok then, so what did you want?

Emma: how easy would it be if i tried to scare Regina for Halloween?

David: how you going to do that?

Emma: was thinking of getting one of her dresses and pretending i am evil

David: can i help in any way

Emma: well of corse you can

Emma and Zelena

Emma: wanna help me prank Regina for Halloween

Zelena: HELL YEA

Emma: Does Regina have any of her evil black dresses in the house

Zelena: no their kept in her vault in the room next to her magic ingredients

Emma: is Regina home now?

Zelena: Yea you want me to keep her home till you get a dress

Emma: yes please

Zelena: little tip the dogs in the vault are not real

Emma: thx noted

Emma and Rumple

Emma: Gold just asking but is there any way you could make a fake copy of your dagger but have my name on it?

Rumple: can i ask why you would want that dearie

Emma: part of my Halloween prank on Regina

Rumple: and what does this prank involve?

Emma: me, as a fake new dark one

Rumple: good idea, but i have an idea if you want it

Emma: yea and whats the price with all of this

Rumple: oh no price. Take my heart

Emma: Why would i?

Rumple: to convince Regina you killed me

Emma: i can see where you're going with this.

Henry and Neil

Henry: Hey dad can i stay at your place tonight

Neil: its fine with me but did you hear about Bell

Henry: no is she ok

Neil: she's fine i just hope you don't mind being a nephew again

Henry : OMG she's pregnant

Neil: yep

Henry: oh no

Neil: what?

Henry: grandma heard me

Neil: ok ill warn her

Regina to Emma

Regina: SWAN GET YOU BUTT BACK HERE RIGHT NOW THAT WAS NOW FUNNY AT ALL AND WHO'S BLODY HEART DID YOU HAVE.

Regina: I SWARE TO GOD SWAN I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND THROW FIREBALLS IN YOUR FACE

Regina: DONT YOU EVER DO THAT AGAIN ANSWER ME SWAN

David, Snow, Zelena and Emma

David: so how'd it go

Emma: omg Regina wet herself

Snow: WHAT

Zelena: yea she's pissed off big time, she's in the laundry washing her sheets now

David: omg i wish i could have been there

Emma: i filmed it

Snow: gotta see this

Zelena: she screamed pretty dam loud

David: where's the tape

Emma: Henry's watching it now

Zelena: man you must have scared her pretty well

Emma: a bit of fog and dark music in her room nothing to bad

Zelena: no to mention the cobwebs still hanging in her room

Emma: yea i forgot about those

Snow: um David just left

Emma: Dad where are you

David: gonna go find Henry

Henry and Regina

Regina: Henry destroy that video

Henry: which video do you mean

Regina: you know exactly which video im talking about

Henry: oh that one i sent to everyone in town

Regina: YOU DID WHAT

Henry: So where not taking about that cat video

Regina: no we are not

Henry: then what video

Regina: the one im trying to kill your mother from

Henry: oh the one where you wet yourself, ive watched that ten times already

Regina: HENRY

Henry: what its funny and it was a good prank she worked hard on it

Regina: don't make me ground you

Henry: mom it was just a Halloween prank

Regina: the fact that it was once Gold's plan to turn her dark isn't

Henry: got a point there

Henry: but gotta admit it was a good prank

Regina: it was good tho

 **please keep those reviews coming love to hear from you all**


	22. Chapter 22

Emma and Snow

Emma : mom can i get a cat

Snow: no you cant

Emma: dad said i can

Snow: no he didnt

Emma: how do you know

Snow: hes home now and i just asked him

Emma: awww mom

Snow: no

Emma: please

Snow: no

Emma: please

Snow: no

Emma: please

Snow: NO

Emma: fine ill tell Henry grandma said no

Emma: good job you made him cry

Snow: fine

Emma: thanks mom now what to name her

Snow: its Henry's cat so he should name her

Emma: Henry's at Regina's and you said i can have her can't take it back

Snow: Dammit

Snow: but Henry gets to name it still

Snow and Regina

Regina: why is my son going around the house screaming were getting a cat

Snow: Emma tricked me into getting one

Regina: ok so why is Henry that exited

Snow: the only reason Emma can have it is if he gets to name it

Regina: oh god i think i know what hes gonna name it

Snow: mind telling me

Regina: give you a clue, Pink...

Snow: there's alot of things that are pink

Regina: is the cat fluffy by any chance

Snow: yea but i don't know where you going with this

Regina: what do you know thats pink and fluffy

Snow: oh no

Snow: not that

Snow Anything but that

Snow: Regina

Regina: yes Snow

Snow: got any poison apples around at the moment

Regina: nope sufferrrr

Snow: meanie

Regina: nope EQMA

Snow: nope don't wanna know

Cora and Regina (actually Zelena who took Regina's phone)

Regina: mother im pregnant and Robin's the father

Cora: omg another grandchild

Cora: how far along

Cora: omg baby cloths

Cora: do you still have Henry's baby clothes

Cora: baby

Regina: were you this exited with me

Cora: of corse i was

Regina: even tho what happened to Zelena

Cora: Zelena was a different story

Regina: but you abandoned her

Cora: wow Regina this is something I'd expect from your sister

Regina: because i am Zelena i took Regina's phone

Cora: but is Regina pregnant with Robin's baby

Regina: nope

Regina: but i am

Cora: ZELENA YOU PIECE OF... (rest of message unavailable)

Regina: ...

Regina: ok then

Zelena and Regina

Zelena: um pre warning i may have borrowed your phone earlier and messaged mother

Regina: what did you do

Zelena: i just told her about my little surprise

Regina: little

Zelena: ok ok not so little

Regina: how did mother take it

Zelena: you dont want to know

Regina: did you tell her its Robins

Zelena: yea that part is the reason im not telling you her reaction

Regina: i believe you on that

Cora and Robin

Cora: you slut

Robin :...

Robin and Regina

Robin: um Regina whats a slut

Regina: WHO CALLED YOU THAT

Robin: your mother did what does that mean

Regina: it means im gonna go kill my mother

Henry and Snow

Henry: i am naming the kitty fluffle puff

Snow: i was warned about that

Henry: on another subject

Snow: oh don't you your only naming it that because of the videos

Henry: yep

Snow: just wait until your grandfather hears about this

Henry: already knows

Henry: was his idea

Snow: it so was not

Emma and Henry

Emma: don't go to your Grandparents place warning you now

Henry: oh please not tacos again

Emma: worst there singing Disney songs

Henry: how is that worst

Emma: there wearing the cloths as well

Henry: i so need to see this

Emma: ok but i did warn you

Robin and Regina

Regina: what happened to the brownies i made

Robin: where they the things in the blue box

Regina: yes just please tell me you didn't let Roland have one

Robin they were good and Roland only had one why is that

Regina: they weren't normal brownies

Robin: what do you mean

Regina: lets just say there was little something that children should not have in them

Robin: what?

Regina: lets just make sure Roland's fine and ill call Whale

Robin: where you trying to poison my son

Regina: NO NEVER

Regina: look ill tell you more when i meet you at the hospital

Emma, Snow and David

Emma: have you guys seen my blue teddy

David: no i haven't

Emma: aww i want my teddy

Snow: i have it

Emma: why do you have it

Snow: i kind of made something for it

Emma: what did you do to my teddy

David: oh so that's what all that wool is for

Emma: ?

Snow: it was a surprise but i made Emma's teddy a little outfit

Emma: you made him a jumper didn't you

Snow: not quite

Emma: what do you mean?

David: more like leather jacket brown booties and denim pants

Emma: OMG OMG OMG

Snow: way to ruin the surprise

David: she hasn't seen it yet

Emma: OMG OMG OMG

David: someone's exited

Emma: OMG OMG OMG YES

Snow: well its almost done i just need to put the buttons on it

Emma: OMG OMG OMG OMW

David: Snow... run

Snow: oh she wont be that bad Neil's up anyway so its not like sees gonna wake him


	23. Chapter 23

Emma and Snow

Emma: mom

Emma: mom

Emma: mommy

Emma: mom

Emma: mom

Emma: momma

Emma: mum

Emma: mum

Emma: mom

Emma: mom

Emma: momma

Emma: momma

Emma: mom

Emma: momma

Emma: momma

Emma: mommy

Snow: Yes Emma

Emma: HI

Snow: HI Emma

Snow: Emma what is it?

Snow: Emma

Snow: oh two can play at this game

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emma

Snow: Emmy

Emma: Dont call me Emmy

Emma and David

Emma: Daddy can you come over

David: Emma its two thirty in the morning can't this wait till morning

Emma: no it cant there's a spider in my room and i cant sleep can you kill it

David: oh god not again

David: what about Hook

Emma: that wuss ran out of the house screaming

David: its not going to be like last time is it

Emma: no dad this one is actually big

David: really cus the last one i just had to step on

Emma: just hurry please

David: well since you said please

David and Regina

David: sorry for waking you but any chance you could come by to Emma's asap

Regina: this better be important or im setting you on fire

David: id rather you set Emma's place on fire

Regina: Why?

David: you will see when you get here

Snow and Regina

Regina: how do you feel about having roasted swan for dinner tonight

Snow: What did she do

Regina: your husband and daughter called me over last night in the middle of the night to squish a tiny little spider

Snow: Emma i understand to do something like that but David?

Regina: like i said how do you feel about having roasted swan for dinner tonight

Snow: oh come on i dont like them ether but there is no reason you should go at Emma for that i mean you are her grandmother after all

Regina: really her step grandmother

Snow: ha so you admitted it

Regina: well i am so what

Emma and Regina

Emma: well i am going to do something so evil to your body you will not be able to stand right for the next week. it will make you so nervous that being around my family will make you sweat...

Emma: maybe i should where that black leather outfit you badly want me to wear

Regina: please tell me that is meant to go to the pirate and not me

Emma: fk

Regina: tho tell me about this black leather you have

Emma: ...

Regina: no i mean i might want to borrow it for Robin's enjoyment

Emma: Ew TMI

Regina: is that new? TMI?

Emma: To much information

Regina: does it revel anything

Emma: bad thoughts in my head that requires death to get out

Regina: ok im enjoying this

Emma: good cus i told Killian i lost the mood

Snow and Emma

Snow: did you have fun with Killian last night

Emma: yes mom i did we sat and watched movies all night

Snow: is that all

Emma: yea why do you ask

Snow: then why does Killian refuse to sit down and more important why is there a whip in the bathroom

Emma: IT WAS KILLIAN'S IDEA I SWEAR

Snow: he flinches every time one of us touch him on the shoulder

Emma: wow i didn't hurt him that bad did i

Snow: i have many mean things running through my head

Emma: please don't hurt my pirate

Snow: well your father just came up with an idea if he ever hurts you. the whip not the sword

Emma: and im sure your not afraid to you it on dad

Snow: Emma, dont come home tonight

Emma: no not tacos

Emma: anything but tacos

XXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Please keep those reviews coming I love hearing from you all


	24. Chapter 24

Henry and Regina

Henry: mom can i have a friend stay over tonight

Regina: Who?

Henry : a girl

Regina : a girl you say

Henry : and id rather her at your place than at grandmas

Regina : does she know about this girl of yours

Henry: no it was mas idea to have it at your place so grandma doesn't scare her

Regina : and you don't think i wont

Henry : you wouldn't

Regina : i still have a few apples around

Henry : your not gonna poison her

Regina : i didnt say anything about her being poisoned

Henry : then who are the apples for

Regina : you if you don't treat her right i have my way at doing things

Henry : i know i know your EQM will be A

Regina : who told you about that

Henry : aunty Z who else

Regina : remind me to poison one of her apples

Henry : ok then, but we go a problem

Regina : and what is that

Henry : i have a song stuck in my head

Regina : oh no

Henry : oh yes

Regina : anything but that

Henry : PINK FLUFFY UNICORNS DANCING ON RAINBOWS

Regina : great where did i leave those apples of mine

Zelena and Regina

Regina: so Z did you tell Henry about my EQMA

Zelena: oh yea that was me

Regina: and why did you tell him that

Zelena: oh we were just messing around thinking of pranks

Regina: what has this got to do with anything

Zelena: a prank we thought of doing with you

Regina: do i want to know

Zelena: make you think your magic is gone haywire, it would make you mad and the ideas we couldn't stop laughing at them but i mentioned it then

Regina: fine

Zelena: fine?

Regina: no i know why Henry is running around the house yelling EQMA

Zelena: omg i am so coming home to see this, mother is coming to

Regina: great

Zelena: what so bad about that, you know mother loves any chance to spend time with her only grandchild

Regina: its not that there's something else

Zelena: what could be worst than mother

Regina: Henry has a girl over

Zelena: im sure we can take a small detour past the bay

Regina: let me stall and warn Henry first

Zelena and Henry

Henry: Yo Z whats up

Zelena: Z? Henry have you drank anything that tasted different lately

Henry: nope

Zelena: are you sure

Henry: the lemonade last night was a little flat but we had that for a few days

Zelena: blue lid or yellow

Henry: yellow Z zup whats matter

Zelena: OMG Henry you didn't

Henry: whatz, whatz was wrong with ze lomonade

Zelena: oh this could get intresting

Henry: what is thy issue with this liquid?

Zelena: Henry?

Henry: Yes what is thy question you are about to ask of me

Zelena: what do you think of pink fluffly unicorns dancing on rainbows?

Henry: well first i think it's outrageous that someone could think that a unicorn could be dancing on a rainbow when obviously they do not posses wings to fly, if it had wings it would be a Pegasus or Alicorn with both wings and the unicorn magic. And second, a rainbow is made from light so a unicorn could not stand, let alone dance upon the rainbow, so i find your statement quite impossible.

Zelena: ...

Henry: Zup Z

Zelena: now what

Henry: wanna have a litte fun tonight

Zelena: im calling my sister now

Henry: lets go trash someone's house

Zelena: thats it im calling every one

Henry: can i at lease put pink hair die in ma's shampoo

Zelena: no

Henry: aww your no fun

Zelena: what are you gonna do about it

Henry: cry

Zelena: well go right ahead

Henry: can you come over im lonley

Zelena: im not falling for that

Henry: please

Zelena: no way

Henry: i dont like you

Zelena: thats fine

Henry: really

Zelena: yep

Henry: can you come over and watch tv with me

Zelena: depending on the show

Henry: House, Miami Medical or Big Love

Zelena: OMG YOU HAVE THE SHOW HOUSE IM SO COMIG

Henry: Sweet

Zelena: hes the biggest ass ever but hes awesome

Henry: Yep

XXXXX

Thanks for reading please send me some reviews. smiles


	25. Chapter 25

**Snow and David**

Snow: i love you

David: i love you more

Snow: kissy kissy

David: tacos

Snow: omg you did not just do that

David: what it reminds me when Emma walked in on us

Snow: yea the look on her face

David: want to make tacos tonight

Snow: before we do that i know something even better

David: and what is that

Snow: lets tell Emma where making tacos tonight

David: that's mean

Snow: no i mean really make tacos

David: where you going with this

Snow: and ask Em if she wants to help

David: oh, she's gonna kill you for that, every time someone mentions it she leaves

Snow: that's why its so funny

David: where are you right now

Snow: in class

David: oh naughty girl

Snow: and you

David: the station

Snow: oh really now

David: don't make me come down there

Snow: oh i know you would

David: tacos

 **Emma and David**

Emma: no god no, Henry warmed me your making tacos tonight

David: we are not

Emma: if i come over and the two of you are in bed again i am going to throw water on the two of you

David: IM MEALTING

Emma: oh ha ha ha i should start calling you Zelena

David: you do that and ill paint you green in your sleep

Emma: you do that and ill turn you in to a flying monkey

David: you can't do that

Emma: no but i know some one who can do that for me

David: you wouldn't

Emma: should i call Zelena right now

David: should i call your mother on you

Emma: really im not scared of my mother

David: i just told her that and she said you might want to run for it

Emma: yea right

David: run

Emma: and why should i

David: your mother just left and im stuck with your brother

Emma: ha ha

David: don't forget your mother's after you

Emma: she will never find me

David: um Emma, yes she will

Emma: the whole i will always find you won't work with me

David: you do know that she has us on her phone tracker

Emma: why did Regina have to show her that

David: hey shes your mother

Emma: your wife

David: that i make tacos with

Emma: thats it im running away

David:i will find you

Emma: i know you will

David: and so would your mother

Emma: but ill stay just for Henry

 **Rumple and Killian**

Killian: DO

Rumple: DO?

Killian: Dark One Duh

Rumple: you really want to go there

Killian: yep

Rumple: well then mate

Killian: maybe i should cut your hand off this time

Rumple: you wouldnt

Killian: i would

Rumple: what did you want in the first place pirate

Killian: oh nothing do

Rumple: you just had to didnt you

Killian: yep

Rumple: well then pirate

Killian: well what croc

Rumple: if you have been drinking ill go easy on you

Killian: just 7 bottles of rum not much

Rumple: thats it you asked for it

 **Emma and Snow**

Snow: Emma i got some news

Emma: is everything alright

Snow: oh i'm fine i just need to report a theft

Emma: what did they take

Snow: your doughnuts sheriff

Emma: oh come on really had to mention the dounughts

Snow: yep

Emma: wait they are missing omg where are they

Snow: your father ate them

Emma: i knew i shouldn't have gotten those jam ones

Snow: yea that was all on you. He's home hiding in the bathroom eating them still

Emma: don't tell him im coming

Snow: ok

 **Henry and Snow**

Henry: grandma i need to tell you something

Snow: cant this wait till after class

Henry: no it cant

Snow: what is it

Henry: you might want to fix your top

Snow: ...

Henry: Your welcome

 **Emma and Regina**

Regina: Emma

Emma: WHAT

Regina: Emma Emma

Emma: leave me alone

Regina: guess what

Emma: nooo

Regina: oh come on Emma

Emma: noooo

Regina: i got a kitten

Emma: and

Regina: i named it Emma

Emma: fuck

Emma: Why?

Regina: because it the only name it responses to

Emma: why

Regina: what i thought you would like it

Emma: a kitten

Regina: yea what don't you like it

Emma: its not mine so i don't care

Regina: no but your mother is thinking of getting one as well

Emma: and what has this to do with me

Regina: you live with your mother

Emma: bitch

Emma: not for long

Regina: and what does that mean

Emma: im moving out

Regina: you found a place here?

Emma: no but i will

Regina: dout it

Emma: what you don't think i can i get a place

Regina: oh miss swan i know you wont

Emma: oh miss swan is it now

Regina: oh don't you start that

Emma: aw

Regina: and what's wrong with a kitten

Emma: you don't want to know

Regina: aw did a ity bity kitty kitty scare you

Emma: no if you must know everything about me then

Regina: well...

Emma: im allergic to cats

Regina: oh you might want to tell your mother she said she was gonna get the kitten this afternoon

Emma: yea i better thanks for the heads up

Regina: no problem so what happened

Emma: i get a rash that's all

Regina: aww kitty kitty makes you ichy ichy

Emma: shut up Gina

Regina: and who said you can call me Gina

Emma: oh come on you love it

Regina: don't you have a mother to talk to

Emma: yea ok now your just trying to get rid of me

Regina: yes plus i am in the shower

Emma: and why did you just tell me that

Regina: he he he

Emma: thats gross

Regina: fuck sake Swan

Emma: What now Gina

Regina: again with the Gina

Emma: Again with the Swan

Regina: do you mind coming over i fell

Emma: you ok

Regina: tell that to the blood on my arm

Emma: ok im coming

Regina: just walk in the back doors open

Emma: ok

 **Snow and Emma**

Emma: mom don't get the kitten

Snow: its not up to you and why not

Emma: im allergic to cats that's why

Snow: shit Emma

Emma: you already have it don't you

Snow: yea its on my lap now

Emma: fine ill just go see whale on the way home then

Snow: i really should have asked

Emma: its fine you didn't know

Snow: should i take it back

Emma: no its fine ill just have to get used to it

Snow: i am not having something in the house that could kill you

Emma: na it won't its just a rash

Snow: ok ok but if i see you scratching that kitten is going

Emma: don't do that

XXXXXXXXXXXXX

 **Merry Christmas everyone nothing better than putting a smile on my face from reading a review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Zelena, Regina and Cora**

Zelena: Regina mothers drunk

Regina: oh this will be a sight to se

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena:YES

Regina: NO ANYTHING BUT THAT

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: oh god not you to

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena:Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: im gonna kill those to

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena:Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: thas it im hunting unicorns

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: mother where are you right now

Regina: yes where are you right now

Cora: Im A Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On A Rainbows

Regina: this is gonna be harder than i thourght

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: i am so bringing Henry where gonna sing it till we pass out

Regina: oh no you too dont

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: Henry said hell meet up with us

Regina: well see about that

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: SHUT UP THE TOO OF YOU

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: SHUT UP MOTHER

Cora: nope Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: FFFUUUUCCK

Cora: HEY I MAYBEE DRUMK BUTT I STILLL CAN WUB THAT OUTH OUAT WITH SOAP

Zelena: oh ya shes drunk off her ass

Regina: and now you are to

Cora: yep

Zelena:uh ha

Regina: as long as Henry donesnt any

Cora: kill joy

Zelena:tart

Regina: i dont belive this

Cora: Whoop Whoop

Zelena: Whoop Whoop

Regina: my mother and sister are drunk and im the sane one

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena:Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Cora: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Zelena: Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

 **Emma and Regina**

 **(note both are drunk)**

Emma: no Colin

Regina: Sean is better

Emma: Collin is hotter

Regina: Sean can sing

Emma: so can Colin

Regina: Sean is cuddly

Emma: you know what i think thats even cuter

Regina: Sean

Emma: no Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows

Regina: OMG YES

Emma: YAY

Regina: ITS SO FLUFFY

Emma: pony

Regina: candy canes

Emma: cuddles

Regina: poop

Emma: he he he

Regina: omg where soooo drunk

Emma: sssooooo drunk

Regina: Emma where are you

Emma: in bed watching the fairys

Regina: ooooo fariys

Emma: unicorns

Regina: fluffy ones?

Emma: yep there dancing on rainbows all over my room

Regina: omg i dont know where i am at the moment

Emma: cool

Regina: how it that cool hey look upside down tree

Emma: oooo bloobs

Regina: Hey Em

Emma: Yea

Regina: Got anymore shit girl

Emma: no i finished it all

Regina: aww i got wasps in my brain

Emma: dude

Regina: awesome

Emma: Yea

Regina: Yea

Emma: Horse

Regina: puppies

Emma: Whoop whoop

Regina: i found another botte

Emma: yay

Regina: do you want to start a band

Emma: what makes you think i know how to play anything

Regina: can you

Emma: yea

Regina: what then

Emma: don't laugh

Regina: what is it

Emma: violin

Regina: piano

Emma: omg that could so good together we so need to

Regina: YES HECK YES

Emma: Gina

Regina: Emmy

Emma: You smell like onions

Regina: i like onions

Emma: peanut butter

Regina: jelly

Emma: time

 **Emma and Regina part 2**

Regina: omg Emma i apologise for the messages from last night

Emma: oh god i don't even remembering any of it

Regina: lets just forget it

Emma: agreed never speak of it again


	27. Chapter 27

Zelena, Regina and Cora

Zelena : Did you take my black dress

Regina : witch one

Zelena : you know the one

Regina : no i don't all your dresses are black

Cora : the strapless one, im wearing it

Zelena : ...

Regina : ...

Cora : what

Zelena : did it even fit

Cora : i made it bigger

Zelena : keep it

Regina : burn my eyes

Cora : what's so bad about it

Zelena :THAT DRESS IS SEE THROUGH

Regina : burn

Cora : oh yea i can see my butt in the mirror

Zelena :yuk much

Regina :burn

Cora : cool maybe i should go surprise someone

Zelena : that's it im leaving

Regina :burn

Zelena : Regina what's with the burn

Regina :burn

Cora : she's been watching cat videos again haven't you

Zelena : what cat videos

Regina :burn

Cora : ill show you Z

Regina and Snow

Snow : i am going to do things to you that will make anyone scream my name out so loud that all of Storybrooke is going to hear the pleasure and run away from this town for eternity

Regina ; you might want to check who you sent that to

Snow : ...

Snow : SO WAS NOT MENT FOR YOU

Regina : i figured

Snow : its our first wedding anniversary

Regina : i thought that was another two months yet

Snow : no we were married twice

Regina : ? then witch one did i go to, and ruin

Snow : the second one

Regina : ok

Snow : first one was very privet , David's mother was killed and her last moments was seeing us get married

Regina : well that's nice then who married the two of you

Snow : Lancelot

Regina : ? im not even going to ask

Snow : then don't

Regina : really

Snow : pfudor

Regina : REALLY

Snow : nope

Regina : wise move

Snow : il just get Henry to sing it

Regina : you wouldn't

Snow : oh you know very well i would

Regina : you have the evil in you

Snow : not as much as you do

Regina : true but at least i never killed you

Snow : and i did save your life a few times

Regina : we never mention that

Snow : oh ok then...

Regina : Snow what are you planning

Snow : he he he

Regina : ill say it

Snow : say what

Regina : IT

Snow : ?

Regina : that name your father called u when you were young

Snow : and you know of this name how

Regina : he told me

Snow : oh yea

Regina : bucket bum bum

Snow : nope

Regina : bucket bum bum

Snow : nope

Regina : bucket bum bum

Snow : nope

Regina : how would you feel if i told Emma

Snow : oh you would wouldn't you

Regina : she already knows

Snow : damm

Regina : yea shes here with me atm

Regina : Emma think its cute

Snow : ill kill you

Regina : no you wont we both know you wont

Snow : wanna bet

Regina : yep

Snow : well i know something about you to

Regina : dout it

Snow : your mother told me

Regina : she probley lied to you its what she does

Snow : you used to run around the castle naked when you were three

Regina : ...

Regina : no i didnt

Snow : denied, you so did

Regina : that's it im killing my mother

Snow : she's with Zelena at granny's

Regina : thanks, and Snow

Snow : yea

Regina : BUCKET BUM BUM

Snow : you will die for this

Henry and Emma

Henry : want to come over tonight and have a movie marathon

Emma : what kind of movies are we watching

Henry : a bit of everything

Emma : not romance movies

Henry : nope that the only ones where NOT watching

Emma : good id fall asleep during them

Henry : a bit of horror, action and comdey mostly

Emma : i know a few movies i could bring

Emma and Snow

Emma : What's up bucket bum bum

Snow : omg Regina did tell you

Emma : Yep

Snow : im going to hit her

Emma : eww i don't want to know

Snow : EMMA

Emma : what Regina told me about that message u sent

Snow : great

Emma : :p

 **Hey im back with the next chapter and there will be more chapters to come so throw me your thoughts and can't wait to hear from you all**


	28. Chapter 28

Zelena, Regina and Snow

Zelena : HELP ME

Regina: what's wrong

Snow : why am i in the convo

Zelena : Robin won't stop crying, she's driving me insane

Regina: want me to mute her like i muted u

Snow : ok since no one answered me im guessing its cuz im a mother as well

Zelena : YES SNOW THATS WHY

Regina: hey, don't yell at her

Snow : Zelena you want my help or not

Zelena : YES

Regina: yell at her one more time sis and you will answer to me

Zelena : and why should i

Regina: because, don't forget, im her mother as well

Snow : Step mother

Regina: you want her to yell at you

Snow : no i don't

Zelena : im confused

Regina: i married her father

Snow : then u killed him

Zelena : don't want to know

Regina: it was Sydney

Snow : u probley made him

Zelena : sounds like you

Regina: HEY i was jealous

Snow : wait, what

Regina: he paid more attention to you than me

Snow :wow ok then

Regina: Sydney noticed me for me

Snow : eeeewww you liked Sydney

Zelena : Regina, who's Sydney

Regina: he was just a pain in the butt

Snow : news reporter

Zelena : ok, and if anyone ask Robin stopped crying 5 minutes ago

Zelena : wait doesn't that make Snow and Henry step siblings

Regina: yea it does, and Robin and Snow cousins

Snow : ...

Zelena : it does

Regina: we need to draw this family out on paper

Snow : i know something weirder

Zelena : and that is

Snow : hook almost became Henry's step grandfather, and is with his mother

Zelena : eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwww

Regina: ...

Snow : yea i haven't said anything maybe i should

Zelena : let me be there when you do

Regina: make sure Henry isn't there it might creep him out

Snow : it just creeps you out Regina

Snow : im gonna go tell her now

Regina : you do that then

Emma and Snow

Snow: Emma you are to stay away from Hook

Emma: ok what changed your mind

Snow: Regina and Zelena changed my mind

Emma: what the hell did those two say to you

Snow: if Hook's last partner stayed alive, Hook would be Henry's step grandfather and that your making out with him

Emma: ok when you put it that way

Snow: stay away from him

Emma: bad news, not gonna happen

Snow: and why not

Emma: not gonna happen

Snow: he's there isn't he

Emma: yep

Snow: that's it im sending your dad over

Emma: where not home

Snow: you sure

Emma: yea not home

Snow: then why can i see you through the window

Emma: damm

Snow: oh and Emma

Emma: what now

Snow: your step great aunt wants to know if you can babysit tomorrow night

Emma: who?

Snow: your step great aunt Zelena

Emma: you could have just said Zelena

Snow: i know

Emma: dam, your right, she is

Snow: he he he

Emma: oh god what now

Emma: are gonna tell me something that will make me want to run away

Emma: Mom?

Emma and Cora

Emma: quick give me something juicy on Regina and Zelena

Cora: what did those two do?

Emma: you u don't want to know

Cora: how bad, badder the jucier

Emma: let's just say it involves being forced to dump Killian

Cora: Regina wetted the bed until she got married

Emma: that's gold

Cora: that's nothing

Emma: im listing

Cora: Zelena doesn't know but she sucks her thumb in her sleep and giggles

Emma: that i would love to see

David and Killian

David: im gonna kill you

Killlian: I DIDNT DO IT

Killlian: what didn't i do mate

David: don't you mate me

Killlian: what i do

David: you will die

Killlian: what i do

David: i see you

Killlian: that's it im jumping ship

David: im a good swimmer, just try it

Killlian: just tell me what i did

Killlian: mate?

Killlian: David?

Killlian: ...


	29. Chapter 29

Emma and Zelena

Emma: Z

Zelena: Yes Emma

Emma: wanna play a prank

Zelena: it only depends

Emma: on what

Zelena: who's the victim

Emma: Gold

Zelena: only if Regina is involved

Emma: it was her idea

Zelena: who else will be in on it

Emma: hopefully Bell

Zelena: and What we gonna do

Emma: the best prank ever

Zelena: and the result

Emma: Gold will go nuts

Zelena: Emma what are we doing

Emma: and i mean nuts

Zelena: Emma

Emma: were gonna hide Bell, turn everyone in town in to her and not tell gold

Zelena: he is gonna be mad

Emma: madder

Zelena: yea and any chance to prank that twerp, im in

Rumple and Bell

Rumple: Bell where are you

Bell: At granny's

Rumple: no you're not im there now

Bell: on my way to snows

Rumple: well it's been twenty minutes and your still not here

Bell: Ran in to Regina

Rumple: where are you right now?

Bell: look outside

Rumple: ?

Bell: now try finding me

Rumple: Bell this is not funny

Bell: i think it is your going crazy

Rumple: not funny

Emma and Regina

Emma: this is serious i need to talk to you its about Henry

Regina: he better not have a girl friend

Emma: it's much worst

Regina: He got a girl pregent

Emma: IT HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH A GIRL

Regina: then what is it

Emma: lets just say its worst than PFUDOR

Regina: PFUDOR

Emma: Pink Fluffy

Regina: ok ok get over with it

Emma: i busted Henry watching my little pony

Regina: and

Emma: and he has the music playing in his ipod

Regina: thank you for telling me this Emma

Emma: your taking this very calmy

Regina: really cuz im going through his room and found many toys and clothing

Emma: ok than its worst than we thourght

Regina: what are we gonna do

Emma: talk to him he will be home in an hour can you make it before that

Regina: im out the door be there in five

Emma: and Regina

Regina: yes

Emma: whatever happens we will support him

Regina: well duh

Robin and Regina

Robin: do you know what Pokémon

Regina: it's something you shouldn't play with

Robin: because it says theres something called a Pikachu in your yard

Regina: what i dont see anything

Robin: i got it

Regina: you weirdo ill meet you at the door

Robin: i knew that Pikachu would lead me to you

Regina: just get in

Emma and David

Emma: What's up Darth

David: do i want to know

Emma: remember Zelena's time portal

David:oh yea when you where princess two buns

Emma: Really?

David:you brought it up

Emma: well thats true Darth

David: Two buns, do you remeber when Darth tourched Han

Emma: Yea

David: well tell hook im not afraid to do that to him

Emma: you wouldn't

David: try me

Emma: im the one with the force in the family

David: yes but don't forget this

Emma: what

David: I am your Father

Emma: ok Darth

David: if im darth what does that ae your mother

Emma: padme

David: Really i get Darth and she gets Padme

Emma: more like paddy, Neil Gets lukey

Emma: oh and one other thing

David: what

Emma: when you get Neil back he may not be wearing the same clothes as before

David: what did you do

Emma: hes so cute in his little jedi costume and lightsaver

David: well he will join me at home

Emma: ok, when do you want him home Darth

David: before the dark side takes over

Emma: dont worry i'll light the way

David: you would

Emma: yep i have my own lightsaver its Blue

David: Blue

Emma: well i was gonna have it red to mach my jacket but might get a few mixed reactions

David: good point

David: what didnt want to join me on the dark side

Emma: nope :)

David: Padme wants to know if you want to join us for Dinner

Emma: i'll have ben with me

David: Ben?

Emma: Henry

David: how is he Ben

Emma: the new movie Ben is Leia and Solo's boy

David: ok did not know that

Emma: as long as Henry doen't go evil

David: What why

Emma: you know what im not gonna spoil it for you

David: oh come on

Emma: nope

David: please

Emma: your mind tricks do not effect me

David: aww why not

Emma: cuz you blew up my home planet and cut off my brother's hand

David: good point

Emma: i'll bring the movie tonight we can all watch it

David: ok pincess two bun

Emma: well i just saw the Emprer

David: Who?

Emma: Gold

David: omg thats gold alright

Emma: just need to pick up Solo and ill be around

David: Aww id rather the wookie

Emma: no im not asking Smee

Emma, Regina and Henry

Henry: Mom's can i have a lightsaber

Emma: NO

Regina: whats a lightsaber

Henry: a giant glow stck

Emma: no your not having one

Regina: what Emma said

Henry: aww

Emma: Regina's with me on this

Regina: E what are they exacly

Emma: i'll show you later

Emma and David

Emma: How many Jedi's does it take to screw in a light bulb

David: do i what to know

Emma: all of the they hate the dark side

David: ok you got me on that one


	30. Chapter 30

Zelena and Regina

Zelena : so Halloweens next week

Regina : oh god who told you about Halloween

Zelena : Henry did. why? What's wrong about Halloween

Regina : ok what costume are you going to make me where

Zelena : what makes you think i have a costume in mind

Regina : do i have to answer that

Zelena : nope and yep

Regina : on what

Zelena : nope to answer and yep to the costume

Regina : well are you going to tell me what it is

Zelena : you ever herd of a smurf

Regina : HELL NO

Zelena : oh come on sis it will be fun

Regina : i will NOT leave the house if i have to dress up as one of those blue little things

Zelena : why not mother is

Regina : that's is im putting myself under a sleeping curse

Zelena : ill just go and get Robin

Zelena : oh come on it can't be that bad can it

Regina : let's just say it involves Henry and a lot of blue paint

Emma and David

Emma : how easy is it to scare mom

David : why

Emma : i wanna prank her im bored

David : how

Emma : only i will know

David : does it involve Regina in some way

Emma : maybe

David : do it

Emma To Snow

Emma : Regina you make me so dirty the shower will not do without you in it do you care to join me later it will be our little secret

Emma : holy crap that was not meant for you mom please do not read that last message

Emma and David pt 2

David : well done, she passed out

Emma : omg really

David : what did that message say

Emma : unless you want disturbing messages in your head for the rest of your life DO NOT READ

David : does Regina know about this

Emma : hell no

David : well se does now

Emma : crap

David : you started it

Emma : i am so dead

David : na probley throw a fireball in your face at most

Emma : if i go missing hunt down Regina

Regina and Emma

Regina : im gonna kill you

Emma : keep telling yourself that

Regina : wat does that supposed to mean

Emma : you have said that how many times about my mother and look ses still walking around

Regina : R U home?

Emma : Nope

Regina : i think your nose just grew

Emma : im not August

Regina : no but i can see you

Emma : are you just gonna stand there or come in

Regina : nope not coming in

Emma : aww why not

Regina : cuz of that bloody message that's why

Emma : what afraid of my bathroom are you

Regina : no and can we NOT talk about your bath room

Emma : ok let's talk about my kitchen then

Regina : mines better

Emma : mines bigger

Regina : mines cleaner

Emma : wait are we really doing this

Regina : yea this is weird

Emma : weirder than Zelena

Regina : nothing is weirder than Zelena

Emma : no Zelena and your mother

Regina : ok yea those two are weird

Emma : pigfarts

Regina : yep and your princess weird

Emma : pigfarts Hogwarts

Regina : yea well your just one... Hooked Swan aren't you

Emma : gotta problem with that

Regina : nope


	31. Chapter 31

**Emma and Batman**

Emma : don't ask why but who but someone change all the contacts names

Batman : what does mine say

Emma : Batman

Batman : omg Emma you so gotta keep that

Emma : can you at least tell me who you are

Batman : im batman

Emma : damm it ill find out who you are

Batman : no you wont

Emma : wanna bet

Batman : yep

Emma : fine

 **Emma and Darth Vader**

Emma : one who is this and two did you change all my contacts names

DV : do i want to know what mine is changed to

Emma : Darth Vader

DV : HA that's' so not me

Emma : but who are you

DV : Emma, I am your father

Emma : ok Darth if your not going to tell me you and Batman can join the club

DV : Batman?

Emma : yes i don't know who Batman is

DV : Damm why couldn't i have Batman

Emma : please tell me your Henry

DV : nope nice try

Emma : who are you

DV : I am your father

Emma : fine don't tell me

DV : ok then your choice

 **Emma and Ice cream**

Emma: name was changed who is this

IC: i want to know why you have my number in the first place

Emma: who is this im getting sick of this?

IC: damm two messages and you're already pissed off

Emma: more like third conversation

IC: what other names are there

Emma: not going to say, please who is this

IC: nah that's no fun

Emma: fine, whoever you are do you want to have a picnic with me and Killlian

IC: HELL NO

Emma: well that eliminates my mother

IC: trust me im not that pixie

Emma: Regina?

IC: You wish

Emma: yea sometimes

IC: ...

Emma: so not Regina

IC: im disturbed

Emma: good

IC: why the hell is that good

Emma: cus your reaction eliminates possible people

IC: damm

 **Emma and Dumbledore**

Emma : Name?

Dumbledore : was wondering when you were going to ask me

Emma : Name?

Dumbledore : i have been told about this game

Emma : for god's sake who is this

Dumbledore :well since you didn't ask nicely

 **Emma and Bird**

Bird : having fun finding out who everyone is

Emma : im going to kill you when i know who this

Bird : this is my pre revenge

Emma : your not going to be breathing soon

Bird : doubt it

Emma : fly away bird brain

Bird : hey is that anyway to speak to me

Emma : mom?

Bird : nope im much better looking than that ogre you call your mother

Emma : your dead mother )&%#!*#

Bird : had to to get my kid

Emma : ew i don't want to know

Emma : screw this your number is deleted

 **Emma and Everyone**

Emma: ok I've put you all into the group so you can see each other's names i can't just tell me who you all are

DV : was kind of fun but that's just too easy for you

Emma : of your so going to the dark side

Leia: HA omg this is so good

Bambi: omg what does mine say

Alice: Bambi what's mine

Leia : Alice

Wookie : do i want to know

DV : Wookie that could be you

Emma: NAMES NOW

Batman: do not shout at us

Emma : you're not my mom

Leia: no but you do not shout at her

Emma : please tell me that's my mom

Leia: yes Em

Bambi: oh come one why did you tell her

Leia: at least she knows who i am

Emma : i just want to know who birdy was who isn't in this list

DV: Gold isn't

Emma : so he was Gold then well he is about to meet my fist with his nose

Leia: why

Emma : he called you an ogre

Leia: pick me up ill come two

Wookie: Zelena, Ruby and Belle isn't in the list ether

 **XXXXXXXXX**

 **(A / N: Gold isn't Birdy wait till you find out who it isn't tho)**

 **love to hear comments on who you think is everyone is dont worry next chapter will have who was who till then love to hear from you.**


	32. Chapter 32

**Emma and Batman**

Emma: ok Batman everyone else has been revealed, just give it up

Batman: nope

Emma: even if i do find out who this is ill keep the name if u like i just want to know who i am talking to

Batman: im Batman

Emma: just give it up i was being nice besides Henry told me it was you Regina

Batman: Damm that kid

Emma: Ha so it is you i just guessed since you're the only name not in my list

Batman: ok ok you got me but i do have one question. Who was birdy

Emma: after punching rumple in the face thinking it was him i find out it was pan

Batman: ok first HA and second what did he do

Emma: he called mom an ogre

Batman: that green thing from Shrek

Emma: yep

Batman: i always though that thing looked more like Zelena

Emma: don't let her hear you say that

Batman: oh come on just sisters paying each other out

Emma: you are just lucky she didn't see my phone

Batman: she's with you ?

Emma: yea she said something on tv about an foster carer and wanted to know more

Batman: ok thats so not her

Emma: she got upset on the way the kids where treated

Batman: oh god i know what's really going on with her

Emma: what

Batman: the only time i see her crying

Emma: when

Batman: really shes a big baby herself at her monthly time and is crawling to you

Emma: um

Batman: just give her something to eat ill be there soon

Emma: ok

Batman: oh and em

Emma: yea

Batman: if she falls asleep, scare the crap out of her

Emma: and why would i do that

Batman: because the reacton is always worth her screaming

Emma: ok

 **Cora Zelena and Regina**

Regina : mother is it safe to come home yet

Cora : um yea why did the two of you started screaming and ran out of the house

Zelena : you haven't seen what's in the bathroom have you

Regina : DONT GO IN THERE

Cora : a snake that's what your scared of

Zelena : BURN IT

Regina : NOW

Cora : *sends photo of her holding the snake*

Regina : good job Zelena is throwing up

Cora : and you

Regina : holding her hair

Cora : you two are such babies

Zelena : Regina where did you go

Regina : damm David said i can't borrow his gun

Cora : look girls im taking this beautiful creature out to the forest

Regina : great job Zelena passed out

Cora : turn around

Regina : your standing behind me with that thing aren't you

Cora : yes i am

 **Snow and Emma**

Snow: did you ever find out all the names that were changed

Emma: Yep

Snow: and

Emma: i found out dad was telling the truth when he said his name was under Darth Vader cuz he kept saying i am your father

Snow: well i could have told you that one

Emma: Zelena should have been easier than i thought since ice cream melts and Zelena yells out IM MELTING

Snow: Ha i hope she didn't know what she was under

Emma: she did after a while

Snow: how did she take it

Emma: she laughed

Snow: ok then what about Henry

Emma: Henry told me that night that he was under Bambi

Snow: wouldn't have guessed that one

Emma: nether

Snow: Gold?

Emma: Dumbledore

Snow: i dont get it

Emma: all powerful wizard tho i would have guessed it if it was Voldemort

Snow: that would have been better

Snow: who was Birdy

Emma: the kid runing around town with a blood nose

Snow: Gold isnt a kid hes he only one ive seen with a bloody nose

Emma: nope not gold Pan he called you an ogre so i punched him in the face

Snow: thank you and dont do that again

Emma: your welcome. and it wasn't had to figure out Cora after since Alice would be Alice in wonderland and the whole queen of hearts thing

Snow: ok that makes sense these are a lot easier than you would think if you just think about them

Emma: exactly


End file.
